Lonely

Sounds like he's got it all figured out

By Anonymous - 10/04/2022 16:00

Today, my son apparently has no interest in having a life. He goes from his tiny one-bed flat to work, then back home again to play with his computer. It’s a good job, so he can afford a life, but he has no friends, never dates or goes anywhere, he even gets his shopping delivered. What can I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 1 052

Weird, huh?

By Sam - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 627

You deserved it 3 786

Trust issues

By George - 01/04/2022 16:00

Today, the only woman in my life who has been honest with me and will give me a straight answer is iPhone’s Siri. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 208

Forever alone

By forever alone - 27/03/2022 16:00

Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 188

Lonesome tonight

By Forever Alone - 26/03/2022 16:00

Today, and ever since the start of the Covid pandemic, my friends have progressively stopped talking to me. They've stated at the time that they are too tired, their significant other won't let them, or they're simply sick of me. I still want to hang out as usual, but I don't have who to hang out anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 184

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 14:00 - Germany

Today, it's my birthday. I spent the day doing nothing but chores, amongst which baking my own birthday cake. I was then so exhausted that I couldn't even stand my own company, so I ate the cake alone on the couch, watching TV. It didn’t taste great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 177

Lonely boy hiding behind the front door

By Anonymous - 17/03/2022 06:00

Today, I learned that my parents know that I have no friends when they told me to go and make some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 156

The future is bleak

By Anonymous - 12/03/2022 10:00

Today, I just bought my own house after divorcing my wife of 30 years. We'd been childless by her choice, and as I stood in my new living room, looking at the emptiness, I couldn’t help the feeling I just bought a 2-storey, £125,000 coffin that I’ll one day die alone and be buried in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 088

You deserved it 315

Monotony

By Bahi - 12/03/2022 06:00

Today, after I'd bought a daily planner to write down my plans and my accomplishments for this year, we're now in March and it’s completely empty. I realized that I have no goal, no plans, nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 287

Forever alone

By mstar - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized how lonely I am when I got excited over receiving my daily weather update from the Weather Channel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 063

You deserved it 2 904

Lonely birthday

By anon - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Israel

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 650

You deserved it 13 524

Pets 4 life

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I was comforted by the sound of mice running through the walls of my apartment. I left cheese and peanut butter out for them to find so that I could at least have a pet for company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 544

You deserved it 10 045

FOMO FML

By Anonymous - 22/02/2022 10:00

Today, my church friends ditched me to go skiing with a bunch of jewish basketball players from another school. They said I’d "harsh the vibe" with my "principles". The photos they post online look like they’re having a lot of fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 1 157

Desperation

By Anonymous - 18/02/2022 21:59

Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 393

Nostradamus

By really - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my parents told me they don't think I'll ever find a boyfriend, and insist on referring to my future cats as their "grandkids". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 386

You deserved it 3 345

Single and unwilling to mingle

By Anonymous - 08/02/2022 14:00

Today, without really meaning to, I’ve become the angry old widower who lives alone, and whose neighbours don’t talk to him and their kids are scared of. I can’t be sure, but I think the kids even invented a legend about me being the old man monster of the neighbourhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 195

Lonely boy

By Anonymous - 31/01/2022 17:00

Today, I sprayed a woman's perfume on a pillow, just so it would be easier for me to pretend I have someone to hug and cuddle with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 253

Good boy

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 20:00

Today, it's my birthday, and the only male attention I've had in months is when the dog greeted me with his red rocket out and his tail wagging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 208

Horny

By Anonymous - 11/01/2022 14:02

Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I got turned on by a knothole in a tree trunk because it looked a lot like a woman’s downstairs area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 1 110

Are you lonesome tonight?

By Anonymous - 04/01/2022 11:01 - United States - Miami

Today, I get as much time with the woman of my dreams as I do with my children: One day, every two weeks. She lives with me. They don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 184

Take the L

By Anonymous - 01/01/2022 04:58 - United States - Chester

Today, it's both my 28th birthday and New Year’s Eve. Even though it's a Friday, tonight’s big plans are frozen pizza and going to bed early. I live with my parents and even they are going out tonight, leaving me to watch the dog. Happy Birthday, loser! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 279

Lonesome tonight?

By sad and ugly - 31/12/2021 04:58

Today, I really want to punch whoever says women have no problem getting laid. It’s been so long since I’ve felt the touch of another human, I actually considered hiring a male prostitute just so I can be in a man’s arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 411

This pandemic hit some of us harder than others

By Anonymous - 22/12/2021 20:01

Today, I've had to accept that, despite my efforts to stay in touch with the few friends I made at college, I have zero friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 91

Your name's not down, you're not coming in

By LieutenantDimwit - 12/12/2021 09:01 - Jordan

Today, after I was invited to a party a few days ago, I was removed from the group as the “maximum was 35”, but the host promised me to add me back if there was space left. I was just informed by my other friend that there’s now 60 people in the group, and that the host simply didn’t want me to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 121

Sounds wonderful

By Loner - 05/12/2021 14:00

Today, I spent the thirty second consecutive day in a row seeing no one but my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 239

Mean girls

By Anonymous - 30/11/2021 05:01

Today, I found out via Whatsapp status about a girl's outing of a group I'm in. I wasn't invited. I'm 35 and it's high school all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 138

Are you lonesome tonight?

By Anonymous - 26/11/2021 14:01

Today, Thanksgiving Day and I have no family to spend with, all my friends are busy or out of town, and the only person actively talking to me is a random guy on Bumble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 183

You're probably better off

By Anonymous - 26/11/2021 01:58 - United States - Ashburn

Today, after my cheating wife moved out earlier this year, the kids are with her and her family for Thanksgiving. I didn't get a single invite from any of my local family members to Thanksgiving dinner. I had dinner at Joe's Crab Shack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 149

Good job

By Anonymous - 21/11/2021 17:01

Today, I paid a hooker for a handjob, not because I was horny but because I’m single with no friends or relatives, and still working from home. It’s been so long since I’ve had human contact outside of work emails, it was nice to be able to talk to a human being for a few minutes in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 358

Ghosted

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I gave up on Grindr because every time someone finally sees my picture, they ghost me. Either I’m really ugly, or most of the world hates black guys, either way… FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 256

Keywords

Party Lonely Awkward Love Transportation Cars ADHD Work Mental health Ironic Vacation Grandparents Accident Miscellaneous Kids Annoying Covid Health Cute Shopping Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Sex Intimacy Exhausted Scams

The Top

Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 849

You deserved it 7 489

Today, I saw a really cute guy in the grocery store. We made eye contact a few times and I was trying to work up the nerve to start a conversation. Instead, he screamed, "Yes, I know I’m fat, bitch. You don’t have to stare!” I got so many dirty looks I left immediately. I didn’t think he was fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 134

The Top

Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 927

You deserved it 5 130

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 691

You deserved it 16 035

Today, it was a normal day working as a medical receptionist, until I told a wheelchair-bound patient to “take a seat” out of habit. She responded with, “I brought my own!” I have never felt more embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 304

Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 75

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 529

You deserved it 2 533

Today, I got fired from my new waitress job after 2 shifts. They said I wasn't experienced enough to handle the fast pace. I thought I'd been doing well so I asked my friend who works there what really happened. Apparently not showing my boobs enough at a family place was grounds for dismissal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 194

You deserved it 2 568