Parents

Well trained

By Anonymous - 16/11/2022 16:00

Today, I paid for earrings at a craft fair. A kid came up from behind and started crying. The kid's mom said the kid saw earrings first and dropped them to grab an adult. The kid was allowed to cry hysterically until the hall went silent. I said, “You can have it.” Suddenly, the kid stops crying and the mom goes, “Oh that’s so kind, are you sure?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 306

You can't handle the truth!

By Anonymous - 16/11/2022 04:00

Today, I went into my dad’s phone out of suspicion and read his texts. Instant regret. He’s 65, goes to various prostitutes, mum’s oblivious, they’re happy and take care of each other. This one’s a weird one to suppress or learn to let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 1 521

Secrecy

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 04:00

Today, my dad caught me having sex with my secret boyfriend, so he threw him naked into the street. I’m 28 years-old and it’s my house. This kind of bullshit is exactly the reason I kept my boyfriend a secret and why I got a mortgage I can barely afford, just so I didn’t live with my dad anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 157

You deserved it 397

Time to create an OF account

By Anonymous - 13/11/2022 22:00

Today, I found out my baby daddy, who left me when I was 4 months pregnant, has an Onlyfans and makes good money. My twins are 10 months-old and he has never paid a cent for child support. I’d take him to court but I can barely pay rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 329

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 11/11/2022 22:00

Today, I answered the door at my boyfriend's house to an obese woman, who looked and smelled homeless, and rudely tried to barge past me to get inside. I told her to get out or I’d call the police. My boyfriend behind me saw this disgusting woman and said those two awful words: “Hi Mom.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 464

Saving

By Anonymous - 08/11/2022 12:00

Today, my mother went out of her way to, over completely trivial bullshit, wake me up early on the only two days of the week I don’t have to wake up at 4:30AM, drive an hour both ways, and work my fingers to the bone for twelve hours straight. This is why I’m so soul-shreddingly desperate to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 152

Just go already!

By i…… - 07/11/2022 14:00

Today, I told my dad to go to the doctor, as he’s been hacking his lungs up every minute for a month, and I've not had a decent night’s sleep since then. He insists he’s not sick, and my mom yelled at me because she sleeps in the same room and is able to sleep through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 83

My little secret

By biggiejoe - 05/11/2022 10:00

Today, after I hooked up with a chick a few years ago and we ended up having a kid, we have been on and off for about 8 years. This whole time I have never met her family or her close friends. She has met every person in my family and pretty much knows all my friends. Anytime I bring this up she's defensive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 398

Why are we even here?

By Bamboozled - 03/11/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me that we were going to go and see my uncle, who lives very far away. I got excited, until I realized they fucking lied so I would attend the funeral of an acquaintance of my father, whom I had never met in my life, and he only met a couple times. This is why I have trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 139

Boozed up

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 21:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my coworker and I were waiting outside the bar to pick up my dad. When he got in the car, my VERY drunk dad, instead of greeting us, looked my coworker dead in the eye and asked, “Are you fucking my daughter?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 180

Unmotivational speaker

By Shivvy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I came downstairs disappointed thinking that my parents had forgotten my birthday. Turns out they didn't forget, they just couldn't be bothered to do anything for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 856

You deserved it 3 275

It's me!

By He who must not be named - 28/10/2022 19:00 - United States

Today, my mom struggled tried to say my name. She said my brother's name, my sister's, my dad's, my uncle's, and finally my cat's (who doesn't even have a human name) before she gave up and said, "You!" and pointed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 120

Get a load of this guy

By Anonymous - 28/10/2022 14:00

Today my dad asked if he could walk me down the aisle at my wedding. I was just too speechless to respond. He asked me on my doorstep, at 2 a.m., which was also our first ever meeting since he abandoned my mom when she was 5 months pregnant with me, and just disappeared for 28 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 94

Insane parents

By mermyth - 28/10/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, my mom came to my room to tell me that there were guests coming over. Five minutes later, she came to my room to scream at me for not doing the dishes, “like she just told me.” When? FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 130

Flip your wig

By Anonymous - 25/10/2022 18:00 - Philippines

Today, my father verbally abused me for visiting my sick maternal grandfather, saying I lack common sense and intellect. He was angry that my cousin, who was the driver for the day, had her time wasted, despite the fact that my cousin planned to be with me the whole day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 102

Scarred for life

By Coco - 23/10/2022 10:00

Today, my son confessed to me that the reason he'd rather die single is because my husband and I are so toxic to each other, as we end up arguing over even petty things, yet we still refuse to divorce after 30 years. Therefore, we're to blame for "leaving him traumatized and terrified of marrying". He is 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 2 138

Thanks Dad

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 06:00

Today, and every time I want to try something new, my dad starts pointing out why it’s a stupid idea, or how it will obviously go wrong, and gets himself so worked up that in the end he’s just shouting at me while I cower, yet it also makes him mad when I just sit in my room with no hobbies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 99

Toxic parenting done right

By I have identified the source - 18/10/2022 19:00 - United States

Today, I finally confronted my parents about my depression and avoidant personality disorder. I showed them a well-kept journal of every time they've disregarded my feelings on something completely valid. I'd worked on this journal since I was ten years old. They denied it all and told me to "quit being a crybaby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 244

No shame

By bluewatersify - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I got a letter in the mail, my mother has applied for a reduction in her child support payments for my brother and me. She's paid $10 child support in 16 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 805

You deserved it 2 307

Make it stop

By Fuck - 18/10/2022 10:00

Today, I was feeling too tired because I couldn't sleep last night, due to my mother's snoring. Since I stayed with both my parents and my sister in a small town for a vacation, I requested to sleep in separate rooms because my mother's snoring is disgustingly loud. She refused, and called me a crybaby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 120

Trash the lot

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 16:00

Today, I was sleeping with my girlfriend on my parents' bed naked, just to wake up to find out she got her period, on fresh, new sheets they bought the other day. As I finished scrubbing it and cleaning, she accidentally left a burning cigarette on the sheets so now it has a burn hole too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 2 803

Overreaching

By Entitled parents suck. - 12/10/2022 10:00

Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 145

Parenting 101

By butihelppaythebills - 10/10/2022 01:00

Today, I got a tattoo. My mom got upset and threw a bitch fit about how my body "is a temple and it belongs to God.” I told her, “My body, my choice.” She responded with, “Oh really? Well, my house, my choice who lives here. Pack your shit and get the fuck out.” I’m currently in my car with nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 1 355

Don't come

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, my parents and in-laws are in a bidding war for the house next door, since we are about to have a son. We're not even sure if we want them living this close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 448

You deserved it 1 573

It's all downhill from here

By Anonymous - 06/10/2022 10:00 - United Kingdom - Farnborough

Today, my parents searched my room because yesterday they found one of my friends vapes in my bag, which they made me return. Sadly, they found a box vape with 2 e-juices and gave me a talking to. So now, I'm never allowed out of the house until I'm 18 (I'm 14 right now) and I'm never allowed friends over. Also, they're really mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 2 477

Toxic people

By Anonymous - 05/10/2022 17:30

Today, I went out with my parents and a family friend. After saying goodbye to the friend and as soon as the elevator doors shut, my parents started trash-talking the friend's looks, stature, choice of clothes, etc. Now I understand a lot about my education growing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 110

Reactionaries need to pipe down

By FirstGradeTeach - 05/10/2022 15:00

Today, I had a parent come in for a conference. When she stepped into my classroom, she immediately went on a rant about how I’m "woke indoctrinating" her child and threatened to homeschool her. She then stormed out. I had a rainbow chart of the colors and a poster of multicolored hands. I teach 1st grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 191

Parents react to announcement [GONE WRONG]

By Anonymous - 05/10/2022 00:30

Today, I came out as bisexual while we were in the car. My mom started crying behind the steering wheel, driving at 85 mph. She later told my dad, even though I asked her not to. My dad said, "Give it a month, he'll grow out of it." I realized I was bi 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 388

Media frenzy

By Anonymous - 04/10/2022 22:00

Today, my sister had about 10 seconds of screen time as a nameless extra in a movie and mom won’t stop crying she’s so proud she saw one of her babies on the TV. I used to work for the BBC. I was on TV for minutes at a time, at least once a week, and she was never this proud of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 145

Booksmart

By hfksorws - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was at Barnes and Noble with my dad, where he refused to buy me a book because I "already read too much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 818

You deserved it 6 166

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while at work in a subscription TV call center, a 71 year-old male customer went into explicit detail about the "adults only" programming that he enjoys, including all the kinky things he learns from said programming, and tries out on his 70 year-old wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 025

You deserved it 6 525

Today, I located my birth dad and asked him why I was put into care. Turns out my mom died, and since he hadn’t wanted me in the first place, he just gave me away and hoped to never see me again. He didn’t even invite me in, he threw a beer at me and threatened to call the cops unless I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 227

The Top

Today, I have a busy week scheduled at work, so I took my file home to smash out some reports. Naturally I did not do any work at home and then I also forgot to take the file back to work the next day. Instead of saving time, I wasted an hour driving home to collect it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 2 154

Today, I got bad food poisoning. Again. The first time I thought it was the stomach bug that’s going around, so once I felt better, I proceeded to eat leftover food that actually got me sick the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 662

Today, my new anxiety medicine fully entered my system. It makes me shit my brains out. I can either fart and risk shitting my pants every time or I can be too anxious to even enter a public place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 235

You deserved it 218

Today, on my lunch break, I ran to the gas station, and threw some trash away on my way in. On my way out, I realized my keys were missing. Thinking I threw them away, and fearing that I'd be late returning to work, I tore through the disgusting trash only to find my keys on the seat of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 219

You deserved it 11 284

Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 621

You deserved it 3 038

Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 564

You deserved it 2 611