Intimacy: TMI dude, TMI

TMI dude, TMI

By Lockie - 28/04/2009 09:44 - Australia

Today, while at work in a subscription TV call center, a 71 year-old male customer went into explicit detail about the "adults only" programming that he enjoys, including all the kinky things he learns from said programming, and tries out on his 70 year-old wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 013

You deserved it 6 524

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Same thing different taste

Red handed

By grandpa porn - 28/08/2017 01:30

Today, while I was walking to the kitchen, I heard someone on the TV moaning. As I made my way down the stairs, I saw my grandfather quickly change the channel and lean forward. I'm 90% sure I caught my grandpa watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 745

You deserved it 375

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 50 998

By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 145

You deserved it 2 474

By Jessie - 05/07/2011 16:34 - United States

Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 739

You deserved it 4 649

By Anonymous - 18/12/2016 14:55 - United States - Harbor City

Today, my 70-year-old boss asked me to order sexy lingerie she saw on the cover a magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 301

You deserved it 626

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 16:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 011

You deserved it 9 152

By spiderchick23 - 10/02/2011 00:41 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 503

You deserved it 2 855

By Nicky_ham - 06/01/2016 04:56 - Canada - Regina

Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 653

You deserved it 1 663

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 06/05/2023 00:00

Today, my husband gave our son the sex talk. Maybe it’s because we never talk openly about it, but my husband is into some racy shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 959

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 190

You deserved it 5 876

crasher41 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:03

Someone buy that man a beer!! Old people get horny too.

ZiggyMorrison 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:06

You should have tried to sell him more **** channels if thats in your job description anyway tell him theres one with old people on each other

Comments

crasher41 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:03

Someone buy that man a beer!! Old people get horny too.

ZiggyMorrison 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:06

You should have tried to sell him more **** channels if thats in your job description anyway tell him theres one with old people on each other

lelo_lala 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:07

Everybody needs some lovin, even old people!

Alleandro23 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:08

yikes...

rose5171 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:10

lmao!! how do you respond to something like that lol?!!!

fatality2009 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:10

It's not a FYL -_-" It's FHisL

toolman 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:13

why **** HIS life? i wonder if u will still have sex with 71. id be proud too

Julle_fml 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:14

You must love your job :P

jam26 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:17

I hope that when I'm 70 someone will still wanna throw it to me and try new things. it does suck that you had to hear all about it.

Big_Blue_Sumthin 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:19

At least he was not trying to come onto you or talking about using his left hand. Upside!

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The Top

Today, I’m an adult and my mother lives with me, not me with her. She found out I was going to be gone for 9 days on vacation and that she couldn’t come, so she had a “mental break down” and checked herself into a psych ward. Last year, she did the same thing when I graduated college and celebrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 102

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 3 920

The Top

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 786

You deserved it 15 279

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 804

You deserved it 3 665

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said, "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 230

You deserved it 27 883

Today, they opened a new firing range behind my housing block. No big deal, except they are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 441

You deserved it 925

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had no choice but to shit himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he'd pooped in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 730

You deserved it 5 443

Today, I finally finished our two hour long yearly compliance training at work. Not five minutes later, I receive an email from our compliance department, notifying me of a complaint against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 109