Intimacy: TMI dude, TMI

TMI dude, TMI

By Lockie - 28/04/2009 09:44 - Australia

Today, while at work in a subscription TV call center, a 71 year-old male customer went into explicit detail about the "adults only" programming that he enjoys, including all the kinky things he learns from said programming, and tries out on his 70 year-old wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 021

You deserved it 6 524

When Christmas Ends Badly…
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Same thing different taste

Red handed

By grandpa porn - 28/08/2017 01:30

Today, while I was walking to the kitchen, I heard someone on the TV moaning. As I made my way down the stairs, I saw my grandfather quickly change the channel and lean forward. I'm 90% sure I caught my grandpa watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 745

You deserved it 375

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 082

You deserved it 51 003

By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 146

You deserved it 2 474

By Jessie - 05/07/2011 16:34 - United States

Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 745

You deserved it 4 651

By Anonymous - 18/12/2016 14:55 - United States - Harbor City

Today, my 70-year-old boss asked me to order sexy lingerie she saw on the cover a magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 304

You deserved it 626

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 16:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 014

You deserved it 9 153

By spiderchick23 - 10/02/2011 00:41 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 504

You deserved it 2 855

By Nicky_ham - 06/01/2016 04:56 - Canada - Regina

Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 653

You deserved it 1 664

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 06/05/2023 00:00

Today, my husband gave our son the sex talk. Maybe it’s because we never talk openly about it, but my husband is into some racy shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 964

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 196

You deserved it 5 876

crasher41 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:03

Someone buy that man a beer!! Old people get horny too.

ZiggyMorrison 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:06

You should have tried to sell him more **** channels if thats in your job description anyway tell him theres one with old people on each other

Comments

crasher41 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:03

Someone buy that man a beer!! Old people get horny too.

ZiggyMorrison 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:06

You should have tried to sell him more **** channels if thats in your job description anyway tell him theres one with old people on each other

lelo_lala 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:07

Everybody needs some lovin, even old people!

Alleandro23 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:08

yikes...

rose5171 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:10

lmao!! how do you respond to something like that lol?!!!

fatality2009 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:10

It's not a FYL -_-" It's FHisL

toolman 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:13

why **** HIS life? i wonder if u will still have sex with 71. id be proud too

Julle_fml 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:14

You must love your job :P

jam26 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:17

I hope that when I'm 70 someone will still wanna throw it to me and try new things. it does suck that you had to hear all about it.

Big_Blue_Sumthin 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:19

At least he was not trying to come onto you or talking about using his left hand. Upside!

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The Top

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 036

You deserved it 4 225

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me, so when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 205

You deserved it 5 718

The Top

Today, I had to sit through chemistry class watching the kid in front of me slowly peel off the scabs on his arms, examine them, and then eat them. For an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 325

You deserved it 3 185

Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 210

You deserved it 5 468

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 090

You deserved it 5 738

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 312

You deserved it 5 081

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 699

You deserved it 3 356

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 529

You deserved it 62 912