Love, Pregnancy and Cheating: A total mess

A total mess

By Madashell - 25/01/2023 23:00

Today, the colleague who I’ve been secretly fucking told me she was pregnant. She’d lied about being on birth control. She’s mad at me because I told her to get rid of it and is giving me the silent treatment. You know who else is gonna be mad? My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 5 071

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Same thing different taste

Gentleman

By Screwed - 10/07/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, a girl I’ve been fucking told me she’s pregnant after she told me she took the pill. What she really meant was, “Oh, that pill? That was Advil ‘cause I get headaches.” The bitch knows I have a wife and kids. She callously said, “Should've been more specific.” She can’t understand why I’m freaking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 1 583

How could you?

By Anon - 25/07/2022 06:00

Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 567

Run, run now

By SoakingWet - 23/01/2023 03:30

Today, my wife of one week changed locks of the house and put my stuff outside. A letter addressed to “Elizabeth” had arrived in the mail. She thinks it’s my “secret side wife” and that I’m cheating. She was actually the previous owner of the house. My wife told me to, “Tell that lie to someone else.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 164

What a petty man

By EneughIsEnough - 03/09/2022 12:30

Today, I got mad at my wife for giving her male coworker a ride home. I know nothing went on with them because I tracked her phone, I’m mad that he offered her a job in the business he’s starting, because she’ll be making a LOT more money than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 3 173

By sickandtiredofit - 24/01/2012 19:50 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 358

You deserved it 3 123

Trust

By Anonymous - 03/02/2024 05:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my wife revealed to me that the doctor at the fertility clinic where we stored embryos is her ex-boyfriend. She’s now furious that I don’t trust that our freezer babies are mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 327

By kharrington - 07/04/2011 17:30 - United States

Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 648

You deserved it 3 532

Side piece

By Hayat Hubby - 19/11/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, my side piece told me that she’s pregnant with her husband’s baby. She refuses to break up with me, even though I'm no longer interested. She keeps crying and telling me, “It’s your fault!” I didn’t even know she was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 2 003

Revelations

By pey - 21/05/2020 14:00

Today, my boss told me I had to fire my co-worker. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't want to lose my job. I told my co-worker that the boss said we had to let him go. He told me that he had sex with my wife. My wife didn't deny it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 606

You deserved it 161

Yeeted it

By Anonymous - 21/09/2022 02:30 - Canada - Brampton

Today, two weeks after my wife of 3 years caught me screwing her sister in our bed, and she disappeared to her mom’s and refused to take my calls, she came home to get her stuff. Apparently on the night I cheated, she was about to tell me she was 6 weeks pregnant with my baby. She left for the two weeks to get an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 4 425

vchan 20

Thursday 26 January 2023 0:28

Means you didn’t use protection. So not only did you cheat, but you played with your wife’s health. Double FML for your wife.

Anderling 32

Thursday 26 January 2023 0:01

Want to know a life hack for not making your wife mad at you for cheating? Keep it in your pants and don’t cheat, asshat.

Comments

DanielleinDC 33

Thursday 26 January 2023 19:21

I was ready to be a tiny bit sympathetic until you mentioned your wife. So not only were you cheating on your wife, you weren't using protection, which you should always do, even if your partner claims she's on birth control. YDI.

poopface82 19

Friday 27 January 2023 3:30

I’m curious, what was your end game here? There’s no good ending to cheating on your wife.

didwejustbecomeBF 1

Sunday 29 January 2023 20:08

this reminds me of the bday party scene in City Slickers.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 30 January 2023 3:30

NEVER believe a woman when she says she's on birth control. This coming from a woman. You should have worn a condom. But actually, no, you should have not slept with someone else when you're married. I hope the wife divorces you and takes everything from you, and I hope your side chick keeps the kid and sues you for child support.