Intimacy, Sex, Relatable and Awkward: Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks - FML

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Anonymous - 24/12/2021 05:01

Spicy

Today, I had to have the awkward conversation with my wife of 20-plus years that the reason I’ve lost interest in sex is because our sex life has been mind numbingly boring for at least 15 of those years, always the same positions, never wanting to try anything new, just so boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 1 423

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Stuck in a rut

By Anonymous - 16/04/2020 20:00

Spicy

Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 115

You deserved it 334

By beaverless - 02/05/2011 20:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 553

You deserved it 17 596

Permission granted and rejected

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 120

By tigger2013 - 03/08/2013 04:01 - Australia - Cheltenham

Spicy

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 873

You deserved it 5 678

Like glue

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 10:01

Spicy

Today, it's been almost 3 years since my wife has wanted sex, and I get turned down every time I ask. Even when I insist on a romantic date night, we just sit with no idea what to say to each other. How did we drift so far apart? The only thing keeping us together is the mortgage and the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 241

Ace of Spades

By Simon Edhouse - 13/09/2021 09:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 241

Hang ups

By at least put on sexy underwear - 01/09/2023 20:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 123

Love Story

By Anonymous - 16/12/2021 19:59

Spicy

Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 1 819

Take care

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Spicy

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 126

Perfect

By Julian - 05/05/2021 02:01

Spicy

Today, according to my wife, our life together is perfect. The only problem is that I no longer turn her on, haven’t for a while, so she wants my permission to have meaningless one-night stands with strangers on Tinder while carrying on with our perfect, sexless married life together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 084

You deserved it 197

Next

Top comments

randybryant799 20

Friday 24 December 2021 6:29

Why would you wait 15 years to say something??

Jonkbaby 22

Friday 24 December 2021 11:29

It takes two to tango my friend

Comments

randybryant799 20

Friday 24 December 2021 6:29

Why would you wait 15 years to say something??

1known 30

Friday 24 December 2021 17:46

If she doesn’t want new things, one can say he said something before.

Jonkbaby 22

Friday 24 December 2021 11:29

It takes two to tango my friend

1known 30

Friday 24 December 2021 17:45

Well it seems he proposed new things, but it wasn’t accepted.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 24 December 2021 15:48

No, just stick with the boring routine forever. If you have new ideas, your wife will think you learned them from cheating or watching ****.

Keywords

Awkward Neighbours Miscellaneous Lonely Halloween Wanker Jealousy Party Love Fight Argument Family Cats Animals Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Cute Dogs Work AITA

The Top

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 171

You deserved it 9 471

Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 684

You deserved it 4 846

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 783

You deserved it 7 722

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 195

You deserved it 2 140

Today, it was my birthday. I have been heavily hinting that I want an iPhone. I opened my present from my parents and found an iPhone box. Ecstatic, I quickly opened it. Apparently, my parents thought it would be funny to wrap my present, a $10 iTunes gift card, in the box my Dad's iPhone came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 456

You deserved it 8 535

Today, I secretly took a day off work, since I had to use up my vacation, and wanted a "me day." My wife called, and I was ready to pretend to be at work. Too bad the cat decided to come up behind me and meow loudly, alerting my wife that I was home. She's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 539

Today, my brother is refusing a life-saving blood transfusion, just in case the blood happens to be deliberately contaminated with a disease by the government to kill him, for knowing aliens secretly made Rishi Sunak Prime Minister. Yes, he’s off his meds again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 149

Today, as a customer was trying on some outfits, I looked over at her husband for his opinion. The response I got? Him licking his lips. Just then his wife looked up to see me gawking at him in shock. She yelled at me to close my legs and stop checking out her man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 666

You deserved it 3 795