Work, Awkward and Dating: Alexa, play "Policy of Truth" by Depeche Mode

Alexa, play "Policy of Truth" by Depeche Mode

By is there a environmental scientist in the house? - 05/03/2013 08:48 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 589

You deserved it 76 696

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 07:23 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 914

You deserved it 3 236

Small world

By CivE - 25/01/2010 13:32 - United States

Today, I started work as the head engineer for a big civil engineering project. I met the rest of my team, in particular the environmental engineer who I'll need to get along with the most. As it turns out, I took her virginity when we were freshmen in college. She still thinks I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 010

You deserved it 38 278

One of those people

By B-Ry - 25/11/2017 01:30

Today, I had a date with a girl. The chemistry was just right and she seemed perfect in every way until she staunchly insisted that the earth is flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 514

You deserved it 349

Great date night

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 06:01

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 818

You deserved it 192

Recycling at its finest

By Anonymous - 09/10/2022 16:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a vegetarian meal at my date's house. She was very proud because she grew all the veggies herself; she even made the fertiliser herself. I was halfway through the meal before I asked what she meant by "made her own fertiliser." It was human shit; her own human shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 239

Hard no

By unemployable - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 291

You deserved it 3 587

Dunning-Kruger effect

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to impress my boss with my knowledge of a subject and ended up sounding like a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 094

Opposites attract

By forest killer girl - 14/09/2017 16:00

Today, I went out with a friendly guy who's very passionate about the environment and everything was going fine until he asked about my job. I work as a clerk in a plantation company. He went from Mr. Daydream to Mr. Scary because the company I work for is destroying the forest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 247

You deserved it 613

By outofluckdude - 01/09/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 769

You deserved it 3 667

By mywillyisdisappointed - 05/12/2015 01:57 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl I've been dating. I dropped her off and she finally asked me if I wanted to come in. When I did, she asked me to change a light bulb in her kitchen, and then promptly sent me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 752

You deserved it 3 400

vadim14 3

Tuesday 5 March 2013 16:04

Dumbass

feldco1 17

Tuesday 5 March 2013 16:04

Hmm interesting coincidence but ydi for lying.

Comments

chrisp87 11

Wednesday 6 March 2013 18:13

I hate to say it but YDI for sure. Next time don't lie on a date the results almost always fail.

Marvin_Kay 10

Wednesday 6 March 2013 19:20

I pressed ydi as soon as I read "wanting to impress my date"

hordriss 14

Wednesday 6 March 2013 20:13

Time to be honest. She might actually be flattered that you wanted to impress her that badly, and that you think her career is cool enough to lie about doing because you think it will impress someone.

ulissey_fml 22

Thursday 7 March 2013 0:44

that was an akward lie...next time you'll go for "the inconvenient truth" instead !

onorexveritas 23

Thursday 7 March 2013 3:01

any time someone says they were "trying to impress" ... they automatically deserved whatever bad thing happens

daniellenb22 4

Thursday 7 March 2013 6:05

perv

fmlforreal92 8

Thursday 7 March 2013 13:36

that's what happens when you lie.

sythe511 28

Thursday 7 March 2013 20:09

You are a lying idiot.

pnutbutternjelly 15

Thursday 7 March 2013 22:00

Guys do the most pathetic things to get laid. If you really need it that bad, just go to a bar super late and you'll have your pick of stupid easy girls who won't even need a bullshit story to get them in bed. They may not be the most attractive girls but it seems that you deserve no better anyway.