Work, Awkward and Dating: Alexa, play "Policy of Truth" by Depeche Mode

Alexa, play "Policy of Truth" by Depeche Mode

By is there a environmental scientist in the house? - 05/03/2013 08:48 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 589

You deserved it 76 696

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 07:23 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 915

You deserved it 3 236

Small world

By CivE - 25/01/2010 13:32 - United States

Today, I started work as the head engineer for a big civil engineering project. I met the rest of my team, in particular the environmental engineer who I'll need to get along with the most. As it turns out, I took her virginity when we were freshmen in college. She still thinks I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 010

You deserved it 38 278

One of those people

By B-Ry - 25/11/2017 01:30

Today, I had a date with a girl. The chemistry was just right and she seemed perfect in every way until she staunchly insisted that the earth is flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 514

You deserved it 349

Great date night

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 06:01

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 818

You deserved it 192

Recycling at its finest

By Anonymous - 09/10/2022 16:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a vegetarian meal at my date's house. She was very proud because she grew all the veggies herself; she even made the fertiliser herself. I was halfway through the meal before I asked what she meant by "made her own fertiliser." It was human shit; her own human shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 239

Hard no

By unemployable - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 291

You deserved it 3 587

Dunning-Kruger effect

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to impress my boss with my knowledge of a subject and ended up sounding like a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 094

Opposites attract

By forest killer girl - 14/09/2017 16:00

Today, I went out with a friendly guy who's very passionate about the environment and everything was going fine until he asked about my job. I work as a clerk in a plantation company. He went from Mr. Daydream to Mr. Scary because the company I work for is destroying the forest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 247

You deserved it 619

By outofluckdude - 01/09/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 769

You deserved it 3 667

High hopes

By mywillyisdisappointed - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went out with a girl I've been dating. I dropped her off and she finally asked me if I wanted to come in. When I did, she asked me to change a light bulb in her kitchen, and then promptly sent me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 919

You deserved it 3 450

vadim14 3

Tuesday 5 March 2013 16:04

Dumbass

feldco1 17

Tuesday 5 March 2013 16:04

Hmm interesting coincidence but ydi for lying.

Comments

chinagirl3343 8

Wednesday 6 March 2013 4:26

Ahhh so that's where global warming came from... Teehee ;) ydi though

fldlshrhxirfue 3

Wednesday 6 March 2013 4:36

I lol'd so ****** hard

hienzburgess 9

Wednesday 6 March 2013 5:01

ha you totes deserve this!

wvcheesehead1 9

Wednesday 6 March 2013 5:27

Just continue the ruse, shake your head sadly at her projects, say you work for the government and cannot discuss your own research.

erikshiz 5

Wednesday 6 March 2013 6:38

wikipedia?

asamir 11

Wednesday 6 March 2013 6:53

Next time try a marine biologist, or an architect.

Pstraka6 20

Wednesday 6 March 2013 7:11

luck of the draw

ellefaithless 9

Wednesday 6 March 2013 7:56

Guess you've learned about lying the hard way then.

austx 3

Wednesday 6 March 2013 9:05

Way to go, Einstein. Typical dumbass kid who lies to try to impress, but ends up looking like a fool. Next time, tell her the truth, your job is to refill the Slurpee machines.