Intimacy, Sex, Annoying and Relatable: Are Men OK? - FML

Are Men OK?

By Anonymous - 02/10/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to use the “It’s my birthday” excuse to get access to my booty hole. Last time he used the “My favourite aunt died” excuse, and before that, the night of our fourth date, he used the “I’m drunk and can’t find the right hole” excuse. Take the hint, no means never. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 271

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Same thing different taste

What is wrong with these dudes?

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 00:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to use his “grief” at the death of a coworker to get butt sex, even though I know for a fact he didn’t like the guy that much, and just last week wished for the guy to get hit by a bus. Pretty despicable way to try get back door access if you ask me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 342

You deserved it 475

No gifts for you

By Birthdaypoop - 20/06/2022 12:00

Today, it’s my birthday. Not only did my boyfriend of 5 years forget, when I reminded him, he said very unenthusiastically, “Oh, Happy Birthday.” When I said, “That’s it?” he got annoyed and said,“Well, what else do you want me to tell you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 1 255

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 138

You deserved it 4 243

How Soon is Now?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 12:59 - Colombia - Bogota

Today, I realized that my boyfriend‘s birthday was two weeks ago, so I immediately sent him a message as if it was today. He didn’t believe my excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 1 895

Couple of issues

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 20:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend confessed the reason we haven’t been intimate in months is because he can’t get it up unless he is drunk. I’ve been refusing to get intimate when he’s drunk because it’s not enjoyable and mostly painful, but I still have needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 165

By cek4uytp - 25/06/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 788

You deserved it 18 613

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 14:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 431

You deserved it 2 929

Boozehound

By not an alchy - 09/05/2021 19:59

Today, my boyfriend tried to confront me about my “drinking problem”. He claims that the last time he was at my place, I had a full bottle of rum and now it’s gone. He hasn’t spent the night at my house in over two months and it was a half bottle of Malibu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 125

He's the problem

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 21:00 - United States - Monticello

Spicy

Today, I realized that my boyfriend of 3 years saying that his back is always hurting to avoid putting in any work during the bedroom Hokey Pokey was his way of saying I’m a lame screw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 326

By pocketrocket90 - 08/08/2014 06:05 - Australia - Capalaba

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 429

You deserved it 5 342

Next

Top comments

Nikki 17

Monday 2 October 2023 4:03

Ask to do it back on your birthday, I bet he’ll understand no then

core01 30

Monday 2 October 2023 4:19

just dump him. it will NEVER cease.

Comments

Nikki 17

Monday 2 October 2023 4:03

Ask to do it back on your birthday, I bet he’ll understand no then

Gubbon 17

Monday 2 October 2023 8:45

What if he's into that?

Nikki 17

Monday 2 October 2023 12:07

What if she’s into it too?

core01 30

Monday 2 October 2023 4:19

just dump him. it will NEVER cease.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 2 October 2023 4:59

I'm guessing his eyes light up when you call him an asshole.

headlock95 3

Monday 2 October 2023 5:40

No doesn’t mean never. No means not this time. Have you actually communicated to him that you don’t want to do that?

TheSentinel05 10

Tuesday 26 March 2024 21:05

pretty sure “no” means “not today.”

Keywords

Cats Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Smells Love Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Music Social Media Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk Alcohol Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Parents Kids Gun control

The Top

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 595

You deserved it 3 438

Today, my mom texted me in the middle of my end of term math exam, saying it was extremely urgent and needed me to come home ASAP. While skipping my exam, I finally got home to find out my mom forgot what the emergency was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 786

You deserved it 6 163

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 093

You deserved it 3 895

Today, I was carded for trying to buy wine and was told the dates were faded, so they wouldn’t be selling it to me, since they suspected I was underage. I work at the vineyard that produces the wine, I’m the head vintner, and I made the wine in the bottle I wasn’t allowed to buy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 161

Today, my car ran out of battery. I'm writing this from the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 636

Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 114

You deserved it 13 842

Today, when my boyfriend reffered to my hair, I told him I was going to dye it. He responded by saying, "finally, so how much you going for, 40, maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it, not diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 054

You deserved it 9 561

Today, my phone ran out of space, so I downloaded an app to store all my photos online. After everything transferred, I deleted the 1,000+ photos from my phone, along with the "recently deleted" file since it was also taking up space. The app is now empty of all "downloaded photos". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 917

You deserved it 2 873