Sex, Dogs, Lonely and Intimacy: Bad boy

Bad boy

By a-non - 02/02/2009 15:57 - United States

Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 093

You deserved it 8 216

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Same thing different taste

Doggy style

By failuretolaunch2 - 26/02/2015 03:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 574

You deserved it 4 902

Not helping

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 06:00 - Spain

Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 1 303

Love is love

By Taylor505 - 07/10/2024 08:00 - United States - Ocala

Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 96

Humping

By needanotherbed - 28/05/2014 14:21 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 413

You deserved it 6 196

By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 055

You deserved it 3 517

Showtime

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, I accidentally rammed my finger into my desk, and it felt like I'd broken it. Yelping in pain, I fell over onto my bed, missed it, and landed on the floor. My dog saw this as a good opportunity to climb on top of me and start humping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 308

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Kelsiiii - 11/03/2020 03:00

Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 2 111

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 441

You deserved it 4 844

Exercise One

By blah - 02/06/2020 23:00

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 436

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 165

You deserved it 9 125

Eladar 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 18:52

was it a hot dog? =p

ufail 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 8:08

was it good?

Comments

zillia_fml 0

Friday 27 February 2009 5:04

sucks, try getting laid

kaytee05 0

Wednesday 14 April 2010 21:40

oh geez! go to a club r something quik haha(;

ufail 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 8:08

was it good?

podrummer9209 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 3:20

If you're hot and female, I'll fix that. All joking aside, I'm sorry. I know how you feel. Losing a steady lover really sucks in more ways than one.

elisabeth96 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 22:06

loser.

ameeturtle 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 15:59

i bet YOU can't get laid..

Eladar 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 18:52

was it a hot dog? =p

genius_man16 0

Friday 26 June 2009 20:43

LMAO

ExtraBaggage 0

Friday 27 March 2009 19:23

LOL WOW.

loftobot 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 6:09

#3 lol

mykehale 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 20:37

how old r u? im 12 and i get more action than that

girandwogpig 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 6:04

I'm 13 and with a 15 year old....beat that

thecoldhardtruth 0

Monday 3 August 2009 23:39

#9 u shouldnt count jacking off as getting more action #12 no1 likes a liar ill bet ur testes havent finished descending yet

reyemrein 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 3:50

^ Win

SuiGeneris01 2

Saturday 24 April 2010 13:31

little faggots!! you need 17 years or older to be on here!! get outa here!!!!

Justforlolz 14

Wednesday 23 June 2010 21:57

#14 WIN. Lol

codilashea15 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 8:37

I'm 13 with a 15 year old... it's not that hard to do

amrik 11

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:59

hey I'm 12 to :)

ameeturtle 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 16:01

****..

hazelbower 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 5:36

yeah okkk

cajungirl 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 1:44

thats okay it has been almost a year since i have even kissed a guy!! :(

tanlewis27 7

Sunday 9 December 2012 5:34

Hahahahahaha probably because you're ugly as hell!!

nigga_please123 0

Monday 3 August 2009 4:27

hahaha # 9 is a ******* man *****....hahaha sure u do buddy

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I brought home my new boyfriend, who happens to have an eyepatch. Despite repeatedly telling them not to, even threatening punishment, my daughters, ages 9 and 11, would not stop calling him "Cyclops." He’s mad at me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 364

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 488

The Top

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 529

You deserved it 37 449

Today, I was driving by the carnival and I really had to use the bathroom. I saw a porta-potty next to a house, so I parked in their front yard to use the bathroom very quickly. I came out to see a group of teenage boys urinating on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 847

Today, two girls walked into the clothing store I work in. One of them pulled a shirt from the bottom of a huge stack, knocking it down. One of them asks, "Aren’t your gonna put the stack back together?" The other says, "No, that bitch gets paid to clean that shit up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 229

You deserved it 104

Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 91

Today, I found out my mom had been sleeping with most of my ex-boyfriends. When I was told about it the first time, I took it as a joke. Now I know it's true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 137

Today, my 8-year-old daughter came home from school, saying she had gotten engaged and was wearing a ring. It looked real. Later that night, I got a call saying that their son had given my daughter his grandma's engagement ring. My daughter actually said no to the engagement, but still took the ring, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 575

You deserved it 183

Same thing different taste

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