Miscellaneous: Badass - FML

Badass

By zzz - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Campbell River

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the badass Spider-Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 971

You deserved it 4 397

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Top comments

ollie179 21

Thursday 22 November 2012 16:59

This is the most boring FML I've ever read..,

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Thursday 22 November 2012 16:59

At least you won't have a problem with putting your future children to sleep? Just trying to stay positive!

Comments

legalgravethief 8

Monday 9 August 2021 15:12

So? Go out and do non boring stuff, it’ll totally shock them to find out on weekends you’re a sky diver or race cars etc that’ll show them

Keywords

Awkward Neighbours Miscellaneous Lonely Halloween Wanker Jealousy Love Party Fight Family Argument Cats Animals Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Cute Dogs AITA Work

The Top

Today, I rode a skateboard down a street past a busy two-story outdoor cafe. As I rode by, a group of people thought it'd be funny to kick stray pebbles at my wheels, trying to make me trip. It worked. My backpack ripped open in the process letting all my school-work float away in the wind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 868

You deserved it 1 935

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, while talking with a coworker, we discussed a weekend home invasion scenario. It was then that I realized my social circle is so non-existent, that my job would notice I'm gone before my friends would. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 935

You deserved it 1 259

Today, I've made it clear to my roommate that I go to the bed at the same time every night, and that I need absolute peace and quiet from that point onward. Apparently, he misheard it as, "Watch American Dad until midnight, and possibly beyond." That theme song is gonna make me go nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 1 295

Today, my daughter thinks the way to save money is to stop taking her antidepressants, because they give her “uncontrollable” food cravings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 109

Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 452

You deserved it 2 069

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 721

You deserved it 9 126

Today, I was hanging out with a friend, and we were on our way to the nearest frozen yogurt place. The second we got out of the car, I immediately complained about how hot and bright it was outside. I was so busy complaining, I didn’t hear my friend telling me to watch out for the curb. I landed face first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 1 447