Kids: Based

Based

By Toaster - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 8 year-old little sister said, "F*** you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said, "Gotcha, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 120

You deserved it 4 210

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

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Same thing different taste

Ironic, isn't it?

By KC. - 25/04/2012 20:06 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 497

You deserved it 8 746

By Kitten - 06/09/2018 03:30

Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 400

You deserved it 171

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 19:43 - United States - Nutley

Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 647

You deserved it 2 546

You OK hon?

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 834

You deserved it 3 130

Badmouth Strikes Again

By Melissa - 08/03/2020 14:00

Today, my 7-year-old sister had to tell my mom to watch her language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 164

By MovingOut - 16/01/2015 01:21 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, my parents grounded me because I refused to do my little sister's homework for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 046

You deserved it 2 509

By tsakashvili - 26/05/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 867

You deserved it 18 916

By Anonymous - 05/11/2014 19:52 - Australia - Hawthorn

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 162

You deserved it 10 229

By yourebeautiful - 31/12/2011 20:37 - United States

Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 127

You deserved it 2 829

Affectionate, huh?

By littlemiss - 10/02/2013 16:17 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 664

You deserved it 3 051

Xerosnake90 0

Friday 31 July 2009 0:14

Pwned.

Dosse 0

Friday 31 July 2009 0:15

Wow. She's a sneaky one!

Comments

scorpiella 4

Friday 31 July 2009 1:29

Slap the snot out of that little bitch.

crocko101 0

Friday 31 July 2009 1:36

Your sister is a beeeyatch

smurf_diddy_m 0

Friday 31 July 2009 1:46

lmao

shirvon100 0

Friday 31 July 2009 2:11

kids say the darnest things

kc2_fml 0

Friday 31 July 2009 2:14

ha ... well she did getcha bitch

darkmis1 17

Friday 31 July 2009 2:26

if that were my sister, id destroy her!

Shoopman 0

Friday 31 July 2009 3:47

Give her to a pedophile.

average_girl 0

Friday 31 July 2009 3:54

ur sister is awesome!~!!!

iHateRetail 0

Friday 31 July 2009 4:11

that sux! lol

spectre1992 0

Friday 31 July 2009 6:55

If I was you I'd roundhouse kick your sister in the face...then FALCON PUNCH!!!!!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after the seventh morning in a row where my son threw a fit because he wanted to wear summer clothes, I put him in shorts and a tank top and put him outside. He got the message and changed into long sleeves and pants. Ten minutes later, cops pull up. My nosy neighbor called CPS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 86

Today, while cleaning my vehicle at the car wash, the vacuum cleaner found a new purpose. As I twisted around, the mouth of the hose made its way down to my crotch and latched on. It definitely wasn’t painful, but I’ve now been sucked off by a vacuum. Best yet weirdest blow job ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 1 276

The Top

Today, at work, I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I usually try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say, "Have a nice night." What I actually said was, "Have a nice flow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 698

You deserved it 33 715

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 459

You deserved it 3 938

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 7 423

Today, I had to get a colonoscopy. Which wouldn't have been so bad if they had removed the camera from my rectum before waking me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 437

You deserved it 2 178

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 639

You deserved it 2 830

Today, while working at a certain California theme park in full costume, I was approached by a kid in line, who looked at me and exclaimed, "Hey look, its Indiana Jones!" which felt pretty amazing. His sister, who was maybe seven years old, glanced over at me and said, "No, he's way too fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 689

You deserved it 5 154