Drunk, Awkward, Racism and Health: Bash the fash

Bash the fash

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Dallas

Today, the last thing I remember before getting the shit beaten out of me at the bar, was my dipshit brother saying to me, "Dude, I'm not a racist, but…" then ranting about how non-whites should get out of America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 725

You deserved it 3 427

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

ninjanick1911 14

Saturday 4 April 2015 20:22

Anytime you have to say "I'm not racist" you're probably gonna end up saying something racist

MCFX2 10

Saturday 4 April 2015 20:25

Hey, its like saying "no ****" before sucking someone's dick.

Comments

fantasyworld 37

Sunday 2 August 2015 23:29

I would quickly get away from him and act like you don't know him if he does it again.

Jennababy2792 20

Saturday 23 January 2016 17:55

your brother is Donald Trump?!?!

RiddleMePancake 12

Thursday 28 January 2016 1:05

thats the code for the kkk... "dude im not racist but..."

Yoyo2002 10

Tuesday 7 February 2017 6:33

I'm not racist but everyone except native Americans should get out we were here first lol jk but I am native American

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 979

You deserved it 9 781

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 42 687

The Top

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 321

You deserved it 4 184

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 349

You deserved it 3 683

Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 93

Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 693

You deserved it 5 039

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 720

You deserved it 14 094

Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 304