Intimacy: Better safe

Better safe

By stretchy - 06/05/2013 19:58 - United States - Bethesda

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 679

You deserved it 9 354

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Same thing different taste

That's not how any of this works

By Anonymous - 24/10/2023 10:00

Today, I gave my hubby a hand massage as he's beginning to deal with carpal tunnel issues. He then proceeded to tell me, and I quote, "This is the consequences of not properly stretching as a young guy. I did stretch pussy though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 152

No stamina

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 16:00 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my SO almost passed out during sex due to his lack of physical activity. I've forced him to start going to the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 247

By chunkymonkey - 24/08/2012 13:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 325

You deserved it 10 345

By Anonymous - 20/09/2018 03:00

Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 204

You deserved it 940

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 352

You deserved it 4 404

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 09:02 - United States

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 729

You deserved it 6 596

Please forgive me

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 23:49 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 423

You deserved it 4 916

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 736

You deserved it 9 194

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 314

You deserved it 5 111

It's sus to us

By inder - 25/02/2011 16:03 - United Kingdom

Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 863

You deserved it 4 753

BlueMoonCafe 12

Tuesday 7 May 2013 1:13

Better safe than sorry.

SWC_Penguin 17

Tuesday 7 May 2013 1:13

Let me guess. He doesn't stretch but rather sits and watches YOU stretch.

Comments

fantasyworld 37

Thursday 5 February 2015 21:13

Having sex when you're loose seems better.

DrowningLessons 19

Thursday 9 June 2016 1:27

At least he cares.

shannon2348 14

Wednesday 15 January 2020 6:55

He forced you? Exactly how did he force you? ydi. If you don't want to do something then speak up.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 793

You deserved it 3 971

Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long-arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 997

You deserved it 3 276

The Top

Today, I was at my friend's birthday party, dancing barefoot because my feet hurt from my shoes' heels. Apparently, someone dropped a glass on the dancefloor and didn't warn anybody. I ended up having to drive myself to the emergency room because all my friends were "having too much fun to leave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 098

You deserved it 6 480

Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 062

You deserved it 7 463

Today, my two closest friends declared that they hated each other. They're my bridesmaids. The wedding is in three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 824

You deserved it 3 858

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 093

You deserved it 21 906

Today, I didn't get the promotion I interviewed for at work. A guy who's worked here for only two months did. My supervisor's reason: she doesn't think I'm going to amount to anything. I work at Home Depot to pay my way for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 075

You deserved it 2 612

Today, I realized that my flatmate showers so little that the furniture she uses smells like BO. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 81