Work and Job interview: Beyond help

Beyond help

By Anonymous - 03/04/2015 18:43 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 992

You deserved it 2 511

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Same thing different taste

By AbhorrentApplication - 28/04/2013 23:40 - United States - Reston

Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 221

You deserved it 38 907

By fuck you, tasha - 24/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 276

You deserved it 8 643

By riiiighhhttttt - 05/08/2013 05:38 - United States - Laurel

Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 703

You deserved it 4 351

By I weep for our future generation - 01/10/2017 04:30

Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 086

You deserved it 305

By Anonymous - 08/11/2017 05:00

Today, my little sister, who's still in high school, proved beyond a doubt she's better at my computer repair job than I am. She proved it in front of my customers and my manager, who brushed me aside and offered her a job as soon as she graduates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 758

You deserved it 1 090

By Anyonexx0 - 14/04/2015 18:15 - United States - Washington

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 794

You deserved it 3 781

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 08:08 - United States - Seattle

Today, I got an e-mail regarding an IT support job I applied to. The e-mail had numerous formatting errors due to bad code, and typos all over the place. It said I wasn't qualified for the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 845

You deserved it 3 302

By NotYourCopyEditor - 06/05/2019 22:00

Today, at work, I had to explain to a 50-year-old engineer that Comic Sans is not an acceptable font for a government contractor to use in a structural report. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 02/12/2010 17:38 - United States

Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied by saying she's a hair dresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 823

You deserved it 46 068

Language!

By angkal2002 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 3 438

joanleesimone 2

Saturday 4 April 2015 8:10

See who's ******* horses when she's standing in the unemployment line!

kingdutchhy 19

Saturday 4 April 2015 8:06

Seems like your sister should start listening to horse-******* then...

Comments

Vitotaylor36 13

Saturday 4 April 2015 19:31

Let her drown. **** it.

zarrganaut 17

Saturday 4 April 2015 19:52

Wow, how old is she?

imbedderdenu 23

Saturday 4 April 2015 20:00

Classy girl

Witchylady 17

Saturday 4 April 2015 20:06

By the sounds of it she is too stupid and ignorant to be able to get a job. Serves her right

radman08 7

Saturday 4 April 2015 21:04

there are two sides to this...I want to know the exact words the OP used. I wonder off he explained it as nicely as he did in his post?

zykrithium 22

Saturday 4 April 2015 21:22

LMFAO

Matheo_fml 21

Saturday 4 April 2015 21:48

She deserves to learn the hard way... Not that I think she ever would learn...

OGDono 12

Saturday 4 April 2015 22:13

You deserve it. If those are her resume standards you should've known trying to help her out wasn't a possibility ?

EvilLittleMan 23

Saturday 4 April 2015 23:10

Tell her you rather be a horse ****** than a jobless ******.

Boren 11

Sunday 5 April 2015 1:37

another life time welfare case inbound, thanks for the warning OP

Keywords

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The Top

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 626

You deserved it 5 879

Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 533

The Top

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 231

You deserved it 6 716

Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 984

You deserved it 3 370

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 872

You deserved it 3 753

Today, I removed all my online dating profiles. Apparently my ex-husband finds stalking me online preferable to spending time with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 041

You deserved it 3 008

Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 228

You deserved it 4 234

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 464

You deserved it 3 456

Beyond help

Same thing different taste

Language!

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