Health, Miscellaneous and Farts: Biohazard - FML

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Biohazard

By seriouslysinglenomingle - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, I realized that I can recognize each member of my disgusting family by the sound and smell of their farts. I can’t wait to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 676

You deserved it 442

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/07/2019 04:14

Today, I realised I can tell which family member has just left the bathroom from the smell alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 180

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 567

Friends theme music plays

By Anonymous - 24/06/2020 05:01

Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 415

You deserved it 205

Growing old sucks

By Anonymous - 07/04/2023 00:00

Today, I've gotten to that point in life where I can no longer seem to trust a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 153

By Dear God Why - 05/12/2016 13:07

Today, I finally determined the source of the horrible smell that periodically invades my apartment: there's nothing wrong with the plumbing as I previously thought, I can just smell my neighbors pooping in their bathroom on the other side of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 406

You deserved it 721

By Username - 21/01/2011 03:55

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 228

You deserved it 3 649

Believe her next time

By KICKxASSxNINJA - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Fresno

Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 232

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 811

You deserved it 36 012

By Where is it coming from?! - 10/06/2014 02:46 - United States - Brightwood

Today, I returned home after a four day weekend at my parents' house. Upon entering by the front door, a horrid stench assaulted my nose. Hours later I still cannot find the source of the foul odor. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's always smelled without my knowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 996

You deserved it 6 940

OK sweaty, time for a bath

By Anonymous - 22/06/2020 17:01

Today, I realized my morbidly obese, sweaty sibling is the source of a strange waft I've been smelling when I get home. He'll only shower once a week, so the apartment and furniture smell like sweat and sometimes poo, especially on hot days. I didn't notice until I went outside and stepped back in to follow my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 970

You deserved it 148

Next

Top comments

Akitakat 31

Friday 27 October 2017 16:15

I would sniff out all my options before making any sudden moves.

Glowworm56 26

Monday 6 November 2017 19:19

*Loud fart is heard* "Oh, hi, dad!"

Comments

Akitakat 31

Friday 27 October 2017 16:15

I would sniff out all my options before making any sudden moves.

Glowworm56 26

Monday 6 November 2017 19:19

*Loud fart is heard* "Oh, hi, dad!"

Tripartita 44

Monday 6 November 2017 21:12

*slightly quieter fart* “I’m doing alright. How about you?”

RichardPencil 30

Monday 6 November 2017 20:17

Why? You’re just going to have to start over matching each new person to the sound and smell of their farts. Unless you are going to live alone, in which case the name that fart game gets pretty easy.

acmariner99 25

Monday 6 November 2017 22:37

What about yours?

Fritterzz 13

Tuesday 7 November 2017 0:54

You have a gift.

sheeeeet 11

Tuesday 7 November 2017 15:58

Makes one wonder how to recognize you, you know what they say : who smelt it dealt it!

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Miscellaneous Weird Technology Grandparents Pranks Cute Gross Smells Teachers Parents Work Frustration Relatable AITA Love Death Kids Parenting Health Mental health Animals Weddings Dogs Shoes Cars Awkward Mysterious Scams Money Pizza

The Top

Today, my girl bestie, who I secretly have a crush on, sent me a screenshot of my girlfriend tagging me on a Facebook post, saying, “So when were you planning on telling me you have a girlfriend?” I fucking told my girlfriend not to tag me on shit in social media but she did it anyway. Now my bestie won’t talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 152

Today, my boss dropped a highly important and dense report on my desk that had to be finished by the end of the day. After the initial panic attack and hours of scrupulous work, I finished. She then asked me to pick up the revised copy, where my name was replaced with hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 747

You deserved it 1 442

The Top

Today, a woman called the store I work for. When she found out it was a wrong number, she started to cry and asked me to stay on the line with her, talking about her dead husband and how she hasn't laughed in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 277

You deserved it 3 226

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 913

You deserved it 18 965

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 546

You deserved it 24 120

Today, I discovered a cold sore in my ear, which I need to treat with a cream. Because of health issues, I already have six different creams and lotions to apply to various parts of my body, including buttcrack and hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 636

You deserved it 669

Today, at a family dinner, my mom announced that my newborn brother was named after his father. His name is Kevin. My dad's name is Michael. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 632

You deserved it 1 726

Today, I went to a party and we all decided to play hide-and-go-seek despite our ages. I started counting. When I was done, I started searching and after 5 minutes of searching, I found that everyone left me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 027

You deserved it 6 856