Gross and Animals: Bon appétit

Bon appétit

By Anonymous - 05/09/2010 05:22 - United States

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from underground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls, only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 007

You deserved it 24 682

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Same thing different taste

By catstew - 02/10/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, my mother's beloved cat died and we thought it would be nice to bury it in the back yard. I came home from work and while walking to the door saw that the cat had been dug up and partially eaten by the local raccoons and strays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 140

You deserved it 4 446

Surprise, MFer!

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 98

Bad friends

By Anonymous - 18/11/2019 03:00

Today, I was hanging with my friends when out of the blue, I got thirsty. Friends said there was Gatorade in the fridge. Being the trusting person I am, I took a drink, only to discover it was piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 512

You deserved it 309

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 453

You deserved it 2 928

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 16:24 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I went to a wake. When my dad picked me up, I was still pretty upset. Just when I'd had enough of death, the car hits a raccoon on the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 356

You deserved it 4 927

By and god shat - 11/07/2014 23:38 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 289

You deserved it 9 085

By TheCerealKiller - 07/08/2012 09:19 - United States - Northridge

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 314

You deserved it 2 720

Darwin smiled

By Ihateracoons - 06/09/2022 06:30

Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 5 294

By orilykid - 31/10/2012 17:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 097

You deserved it 1 960

By annonymous - 28/02/2010 06:31 - France

Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 879

You deserved it 6 945

malheartsnutmeg 20

Sunday 5 September 2010 12:07

You can almost taste the rabies. :o

lionandthelamb61 9

Sunday 5 September 2010 12:06

mmmm...tastes like chicken

Comments

GLOCKMAMA 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 17:30

I have a pet raccoon. The biggest problem here is that 99% of wild raccoons carry a parasitic worm. It lives n their intestines & they r completely unaffected by it, however if n humans & other animals it will burrow thru ur organs & can go n2 ur brain. If n a human it will very likely leading 2 death. They r virtually indestructible due 2 the walnut like shell & sticky texture. It's body can b covered n them. Meaning they could b floating n that water. OP really needs 2 c a doctor.

nickbouz 3

Sunday 5 September 2010 17:36

I bet he feels great now...

Fop 6

Sunday 5 September 2010 18:01

Do you really think that anyone will take you seriously when you type like a retard?

GLOCKMAMA 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 18:17

If you are used to typing on a WinMo device it becomes habit. & I don't really care if they take me seriously. The information I provided is 100% accurate & if someone doesn't take it seriously because I have typed in a manner they find inappropriate then that is their problem, not mine. If OP or anyone else ignores it because of that & dies, well then that makes them retarded.

ngyh 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 17:57

Haha.... owned!

LiL_MiSS_LYMARiZ 5

Sunday 5 September 2010 18:09

eww .

yahiko_fml 6

Sunday 5 September 2010 18:24

cabin fever.....that movie was kind of gross

ambreanecole 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 18:31

Hmm, Yu Must Be One Extremely Smart Person

86iejennie 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 18:38

when has it ever been a good idea to just drink "fresh" mountain water? save your self, always gotta boil.

WhyTheFace4 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 18:52

Exactly, how did you you think Fiji water got it's great taste.

spikey818 9

Sunday 5 September 2010 18:58

that's real water

Snessie 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 18:58

Lol!! That's commical!!

Compass 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 19:19

And that's when the serial killer appeared... Oh wait, I think some of your friends are supposed to have sex, THEN the serial killer shows up. Don't worry, OP, since you're the nerdy virgin, you'll survive. Turns out horror movies do have a moral.