Gross and Animals: Bon appétit

Bon appétit

By Anonymous - 05/09/2010 05:22 - United States

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from underground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls, only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 007

You deserved it 24 688

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Same thing different taste

By catstew - 02/10/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, my mother's beloved cat died and we thought it would be nice to bury it in the back yard. I came home from work and while walking to the door saw that the cat had been dug up and partially eaten by the local raccoons and strays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 147

You deserved it 4 447

Surprise, MFer!

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 98

Bad friends

By Anonymous - 18/11/2019 03:00

Today, I was hanging with my friends when out of the blue, I got thirsty. Friends said there was Gatorade in the fridge. Being the trusting person I am, I took a drink, only to discover it was piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 309

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 458

You deserved it 2 930

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 16:24 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I went to a wake. When my dad picked me up, I was still pretty upset. Just when I'd had enough of death, the car hits a raccoon on the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 363

You deserved it 4 928

By and god shat - 11/07/2014 23:38 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 292

You deserved it 9 088

By TheCerealKiller - 07/08/2012 09:19 - United States - Northridge

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 317

You deserved it 2 722

Darwin smiled

By Ihateracoons - 06/09/2022 06:30

Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 5 311

By orilykid - 31/10/2012 17:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 100

You deserved it 1 961

By annonymous - 28/02/2010 06:31 - France

Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 884

You deserved it 6 947

malheartsnutmeg 20

Sunday 5 September 2010 12:07

You can almost taste the rabies. :o

lionandthelamb61 9

Sunday 5 September 2010 12:06

mmmm...tastes like chicken

Comments

Graawr 7

Sunday 5 September 2010 12:36

This is why sometimes I'm scared of natural spring water. You'll never know what does it contain. D:

hashmita 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 13:15

Ah, the taste of dead-raccoon-contaminated Spring Water. S:

jennasayhella 3

Sunday 5 September 2010 17:16

yummy racoon water!!!!

1121osu2110 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 13:20

why would you ever drink water that is t in a bottle? ewwww that's why when ur in the woods don't eat or drink anything.

FreshSalad 1

Sunday 5 September 2010 16:29

You have to be the most sheltered person in the world. It must be weird to hear but people drink water from all sorts of places like their sink. a lake, a stream, a spring and even dirty puddles. Get outside.

QueenPersephone 9

Sunday 5 September 2010 16:50

Tap water is actually more strictly regulated than bottled water (in other words it is safer to drink) and much cheaper too. It's not unsafe to drink water from a stream either, you just have to know what to look for.

deeters 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 13:24

I went to a natural spring once.I peed in it

alsnyder12 0

Tuesday 7 September 2010 20:39

36 I lawled

Pro_Nothing 9

Sunday 5 September 2010 13:49

why would you drink natural spring water

missmacho 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 15:27

...why on earth wouldn't you? Spring water's safe. Hell, stream water's relatively safe too - the worst you can get from it is a kind of stomach bug, and if you filter the water beforehand then that's impossible too. The plastic water bottles plaguing our landfills are filled with spring water, if you didn't know. Like, I dunno, Poland Spring? And before someone says it, I am a proud nature freak and a dirty hippie.

nickbouz 3

Sunday 5 September 2010 17:38

a hippie with an iPod?

TheDarkCynder 2

Thursday 6 October 2011 21:53

63 is right. I drank tons of natural spring water in switzerland. it's amazing.

iheartpie 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 13:51

Nothing better than a bit of raccoon to spice up your water.

styphon 5

Sunday 5 September 2010 14:12

enjoy your giardia :D

flamegrilled123 3

Sunday 5 September 2010 14:13

yes very tasty

UndiscoveredChao 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 14:13

op I'm a bit of a nature person myself...and if I've ingested the water before with no racoon then u can kinda see how this happened...so ydi for not checkinf