Intimacy: Break up

Break up

By natrat222 - 26/11/2019 20:00 - United States - Mesa

Today, I decided to eat a whole tub of blueberries before seeing a guy I've been hooked up with for a year and a half. While giving a blow job, I ended throwing up the blueberries right before he came. He left immediately, deleted me on Snapchat and told me I need to get checked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 636

You deserved it 1 128

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Same thing different taste

By UUUGHHH - 05/02/2016 20:33 - France - Villejuif

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 168

You deserved it 2 718

By Anonymous - 28/11/2017 15:00

Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 147

You deserved it 588

Seduction technique

By BlueBirdWings - 06/03/2012 07:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 788

You deserved it 6 804

My love language is…

By BlueBirdWings - 31/05/2019 02:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 320

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 851

You deserved it 4 428

Wicked game

By Hellohaileyexoh - 27/08/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I went to get food. I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and all of a sudden it got hard to breathe. I realized it was a blueberry muffin, and I'm deathly allergic to blueberries. I looked at my friend, and she was laughing, saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 154

You deserved it 5 911

Bad timing

By oh no - 29/01/2013 14:51 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 494

You deserved it 3 465

By TLJ321 - 18/05/2012 07:41

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 613

You deserved it 58 899

Empathy bypass

By Jason - 17/04/2020 02:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I worked up the courage to confess my bulimia to my girlfriend of three months. It's a touchy subject for me and I ended up in tears. When I was done talking, I looked up to see my girlfriend's disgusted face. She claimed I had a 'vomit fetish', said I was 'half a man' and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 525

You deserved it 662

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 21:59 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 998

You deserved it 3 819

C8H18 33

Friday 8 July 2016 7:48

Eating a lot right before doing something that has a high chance of making you gag? Ya, you deserve that one.

iamdman 22

Friday 8 July 2016 6:13

Yeah I would agree your life sucks. Try not to get too blue. Stiff upper lip and all that. Have to swallow your pride and move on. Ok I getting on my own nerves with my puns now.

Comments

gamerlaura 13

Friday 8 July 2016 2:17

the ultimate ****** ruiner!!

speedfreak1022 9

Friday 8 July 2016 4:06

Gotta kik?

Seeyounarabish 21

Friday 8 July 2016 5:14

Why would you eat a whole tub of blueberries in the first place???

iamdman 22

Friday 8 July 2016 6:15

"Your turning violet, Violet!" OP must really love them blueberries.

iamdman 22

Friday 8 July 2016 6:13

Yeah I would agree your life sucks. Try not to get too blue. Stiff upper lip and all that. Have to swallow your pride and move on. Ok I getting on my own nerves with my puns now.

dwilliams2081 10

Friday 8 July 2016 7:03

Your fault for doing that with someone youre not in a relationship with :/

withered 30

Friday 8 July 2016 13:14

#6 are you actually serious?

InfiniteSunshine 32

Friday 8 July 2016 16:27

Shut up #6. This is 2016 in the 21st century, not the 1950s. People have sexual desires and are allowed to satisfy them in whatever way they want as long as it's consensual and they take precautions. Being in a relationship does not validate the ability to have sex and make it "more moral."

TheSecretShadow 13

Friday 8 July 2016 23:15

Yeah I agree #12, but she didn't take any precautions apparently, if he said she should get herself checked.

leezapearl 16

Tuesday 12 July 2016 19:59

Maybe he said she should get checked up because of her violet bluberry puke? How could he know that she has eaten so many blueberries and it's not a normal colour...