Cars, Thief and Transportation: Broke ass dad - FML

Broke ass dad

By anonymous - 19/03/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, I heard water splashing outside of my house; I investigated it, only to find my dad, whom I don't live with, syphoning gas out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 086

You deserved it 2 974

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Friends

By me - 10/11/2012 19:49 - United States - Bend

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 895

You deserved it 2 259

By shakyhands - 22/03/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, my dad was stupid enough to think that the kitchen sink is a good place to clean a gas tank. Now, the whole house smells of gas fumes and I'm about to pass out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 742

You deserved it 4 217

By bummer - 25/11/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 724

You deserved it 2 182

Home Improvement

By coius - 29/11/2020 01:03 - United States - Lincoln

Today, our washing machine broke and dumped around 100 gallons onto the floor. My dad had installed crappy water valves and we couldn’t turn off the water. I called my dad and he accused me of lying. His “repairs” have now caused 5 major disasters in our home due to his shoddy and cheap work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 320

By yessssir - 09/03/2010 02:24 - United States

Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 876

You deserved it 4 941

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 15:49 - United States

Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 019

You deserved it 38 449

Well Well Well

By no good deed... etc - 16/10/2017 04:30

Today, I tried to surprise my mom and wash her car while she was away. Today, I also found out how gross our well water is. The car looks worse than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 942

You deserved it 409

By Boltz719 - 23/08/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 565

You deserved it 3 876

By Niles - 20/03/2012 17:46 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 381

You deserved it 2 834

Smells like…

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I was driving past men working on the side of the road. There was a lot of water pouring down the road and as I slowed down to drive through it, a car sped past me, splashing my entire car. It was only then I realized it was a septic tank leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 724

You deserved it 2 608

Next

Top comments

DarkJoy_fml 5

Saturday 19 March 2011 12:11

At least he wasn't sucking **** outside your house for gas money right???..........FYL OP

tmmundy 17

Saturday 19 March 2011 12:17

did you make him pay $3.50 a gal? or did you proceed to kick his ass?

Comments

disney_blonde 16

Saturday 19 March 2011 15:45

For $5 you can get a locking gas cap.

quadder 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 15:57

those don't do shit, a flat head screwdriver and a hammer and your in the gas tank

disney_blonde 16

Saturday 19 March 2011 16:38

Which would make a lot more noise than "splashing water".

t765234 10

Sunday 20 March 2011 4:01

With those supplies you could just steal the car instead.

shinydragonmist 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 15:46

you should have read the bible to him for seven hours

sabresrock 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 16:00

wtf

truehitman2010 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 16:24

chase him with a BBQ lighter

Nastysack69 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 16:49

I agree with darkjoy. woulda been funny to see that out the kitchen window. lol

quicheme45 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 16:53

Don't worry he'll be back.

sweetiffany 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 17:01

At least you don't have to live with him!

inthemillions 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 18:19

I don't understand how you would be able to hear that, also, why would there be splashing noises anyways??

Mokiikom_fml 8

Saturday 19 March 2011 21:20

You have clearly never siphoned gas out of your vehicle. :) I've had to do it a few times (to my car, not someone else's...), and let me tell you, the splashing noises are inevitable.

smoker316 2

Saturday 19 March 2011 18:31

Even Dads need gas too! LOL, Thats so messed up!

stroudie94 9

Saturday 19 March 2011 18:34

pull out a match and see how fast he runs!

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Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, I made the "Good luck, We'll miss you!" sign for my own going away party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 853

You deserved it 5 549

Today, I was taking some "me time" when my neighbor drove past and saw me. What I failed to realize was that my dog had pushed the shades open for my body to be right on display. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 401

Today, I unknowingly left a five minute-long voicemail on my boss’s phone, at 3 a.m., while out drinking with friends. I have no idea what we were talking about at that time, but I know I don’t want my boss to have a candid recording of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 534

Today, I went to an Honors Convocation for my school. I received a letter a few weeks earlier telling me I received an award. Surprised and proud, I invited my family to join me to see what award I was receiving. I couldn't find my name in the program. I was invited by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 721

You deserved it 2 948

Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 491

You deserved it 1 215

Today, it's been three weeks since my parents went on holiday and not only have they not called me, they don’t answer when I call them… until today, when my mom finally called me, whilst I was having sex. She then sent me a text outlining how rude it was I ignored her call and grounded me. I’m 24 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 127