Bye bye love

By Anonymous - 04/10/2020 14:01

Today, according to my emotionally distant boyfriend, stopping by a whorehouse on his way home several nights a week for a quick blowjob isn’t cheating, because it involves cash and no intimacy afterwards. Dumped his ass real quick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 195

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Same thing different taste

How the turntables…

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 18:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend with a prostitute. The prostitute actually got mad at me for yelling at him, because the few times he’s hired her, all he asked for was talking and cuddling, never sex. Her advice was I need to step up my emotional intimacy, because he’s clearly not getting it from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 3 211

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 14/01/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom - Hove

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that many years before we met, I once slept with a guy in my college for $500 just so I could avoid becoming homeless before my next student loan kicked in. He dumped me because he “doesn’t date whores”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 357

Logic

By Anonymous - 31/05/2021 04:01

Today, according to my boyfriend, it’s not cheating if he doesn’t love the other woman, so if it’s just sex, it’s not cheating and I shouldn’t be upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 156

Hypocrisy

By gamer tag ID not recognised - 06/10/2018 03:00

Today, my husband is adamant he's not a cheater, because, "it only counts as cheating if you have sex with other women for free." Apparently 20-year-old male prostitutes don't count because they're not women and they cost money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 023

You deserved it 228

Classic

By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 18:30 - United States - Newport News

Today, after I helped get my boyfriend get a new job, he thanked me by dumping me for some whore who works there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 1 242

Time to move on

By Anonymous - 03/11/2023 08:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me. His excuse was that I never had time for his needs anymore. He’s unemployed but I guess me working and studying to get my degree so we could move out of his parents’ house was too much. Now I have no place to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 105

By Justlooking - 28/07/2017 20:00

Today, my new husband of two weeks attempted to solicit sex from a hooker. He tried to excuse himself by saying, "I would never cheat on you! I was just looking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 412

You deserved it 587

How could you?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2013 23:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 564

You deserved it 17 230

By Anonymous - 14/10/2018 03:00

Today, I actually said the words "yes, a blowjob from a guy is still cheating" to my husband. I never thought that would be a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 459

You deserved it 297

Broke boy

By Carmen - 11/04/2011 16:57 - United States

Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 507

You deserved it 5 679

Roxy Rousseau 11

Sunday 4 October 2020 23:21

STD TESTS!!!!

Ed Munson 14

Sunday 4 October 2020 23:25

Dumping him was the ONLY option!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 4 October 2020 15:59

Isn't that your "job" anyways? Why does he need to outsource that work? Sounds like a waste of money -- you're better off without him.

ahabsfan 14

Sunday 4 October 2020 20:22

Was his name Bill Clinton?

Christina Winden 22

Sunday 4 October 2020 22:17

Good for you. You don’t need that trash in your life.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 5 October 2020 6:28

Y'know, if she doesn't like giving ********, maybe he had a reasonable solution to the issue.

Roxy Rousseau 11

Sunday 4 October 2020 23:21

STD TESTS!!!!

Ed Munson 14

Sunday 4 October 2020 23:25

Dumping him was the ONLY option!

demix_fml 32

Monday 5 October 2020 0:58

Well done for dropping him, I hope you get over him soon and find yourself someone worth it x

Tom O'Halloran 9

Monday 5 October 2020 5:15

and THIS is why whorehouses are a good thing...

voodoo66 5

Tuesday 6 October 2020 3:50

seems to me, he was saving you from a tedious chore, a keeper!

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Tuesday 13 October 2020 6:01

Kudos to you for dumping his pathetic ass. News flash: That's still considered cheating.

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The Top

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 100

You deserved it 5 916

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 113

The Top

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 499

You deserved it 2 842

Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 684

You deserved it 4 278

Today, I learned that being kicked in the vagina by your brat brother not only makes you vomit from the pain, it also makes you get a period an hour later so unbelievably more painful than usual, you're forced to use the real good painkillers left over from your dad's spine surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 144

Today, I ended up sleeping on the dirty floor because my sister didn't want to share a king size bed with me. She got up to get a drink and stepped on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 764

You deserved it 5 733

Today, my sister refuses to talk to me because I didn't post her a "Happy birthday" in an Instagram story. It seems that the iPhone 12 I gave her as a present is just not enough. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 110

Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 876

You deserved it 91 363

Same thing different taste

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