Miscellaneous: Cash grab

Cash grab

By Anonymous - 23/04/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 915

You deserved it 74 269

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Same thing different taste

Free money glitch

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 01:41 - United States

Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worried he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I'd left the cash in the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 599

You deserved it 83 457

Freaked out

By CriminalMistake - 04/05/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 668

You deserved it 63 212

By Ages ago - 08/05/2019 10:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, two guys robbed me. As I wrestled them on the ground, my best friend just stood next to all this, telling me to give them the money already, or we'd be late for school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 981

You deserved it 248

By Brady - 30/04/2013 16:00 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 590

You deserved it 15 068

By whaaaaat111 - 09/03/2013 12:04 - United States - Vienna

Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 714

You deserved it 2 765

By brokeasajoke - 01/11/2013 12:58 - United States - El Reno

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 778

You deserved it 10 760

By I already have one, thanks - 09/08/2014 05:59 - Australia - Mosman

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 337

You deserved it 3 085

Smooth criminal

By omgfmlhard - 11/05/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I walked into Best Buy to buy a 42" widescreen TV I'd been saving up for many months. As I walked in, a man stopped me and handed me my wallet that I'd accidentally dropped. I thanked him. Five minutes later at the checkout, I opened up my wallet to realize it was empty. He had stolen everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 975

You deserved it 12 068

Never do this

By anon - 06/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Danbury

Today, at the local mini-mart, I saw an old friend from high school and decided to surprise her with a hug from behind. Turns out, it wasn't her. It was a complete stranger who screamed, then whacked me with her purse. Now I’m banned from the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 755

By unknown - 12/06/2013 17:33 - United States - Tulare

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 003

You deserved it 4 483

airandfingers 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:20

Today, I was withdrawing money from an ATM at my new school, when a guy came up behind me and demanded my money. I gave it to him, thinking he had a weapon. Later, I saw that not only had he posted on fmylife.com, but he said f HIS life! FML

nlite 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:16

you dumbass.

Comments

mike1st 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:23

did you at least give the money back

swagmonkey 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:23

First, you're an asshole. Second, why is this an FML? Just give the money back and laugh it off...

PureGold 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:23

Aww! I really hope you gave him his money back :/

truslide 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:24

where was this? UCSB?

maddylovesu 5

Wednesday 17 August 2011 6:33

no university of fyl dumbass

solinv 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:25

wait, fyl because you robbed some guy and got away with it? how is this even worthy of being posted?

Amkii 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:26

Wow, that's stupid of you. You're lucky you didn't get your ******* jaw broken... or worse.

zezjo 3

Sunday 11 April 2010 17:45

yeah that's where I thought this fml was going too

raybury 2

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:28

So, another FML case of mistaken identity, but once again the question is, why would you do this to anyone, including someone you know? If mugging is a laugh, is kidnapping hilarious? "Your honor, when I committed the felony in question, I was doing it as a joke."

SammyS2012 21

Saturday 13 October 2012 21:17

It's a joke. When I knock on my friend's door, I always shout, "Open up! This is the police!" usually they (including my friend's parents) respond by saying the person I'm looking for skipped town and went into hiding. It was an honest mistake just apologise and give back the money

KeithHarris 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:28

This kid is hilarious. Now rent grand theft auto and practice stealing a car. You'll be a career criminal in no time :-D

Chibi_fml 9

Thursday 23 April 2009 9:28

Why is this an FML? There are so many mistaken identity FMLs on here... People need to make sure that it's actually a friend they're approaching before they do something stupid, like you did. You're lucky you didn't do that to someone who retaliated by punching you or worse. THEN you would've known what an FML really was.