Insulting, Chuds and Miscellaneous: Chuds out on the town - FML

Chuds out on the town

By GeeThanks - 25/07/2013 02:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 579

You deserved it 3 995

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:44 - France

Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 559

You deserved it 4 090

By Anonymous - 27/05/2014 19:26 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 772

You deserved it 5 502

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 12:27 - United States - New York

Today, my drunk dad told me I'm smart enough that any guy could overlook the fact that I'm fat, but not smart enough that they could overlook how ugly I am. Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 528

You deserved it 1 875

Hott

By uglyone - 13/01/2010 14:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was going out with my supermodel-gorgeous friend, so I put extra effort into looking good. I thought I looked pretty good, but when we got to the subway station, a drunk old man looked at us and loudly announced, "That's always the way it is, there's a fit one and an ugly one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 160

You deserved it 3 439

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 22:31 - Canada

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 123

You deserved it 4 709

By Bad Dancer - 05/07/2015 01:48 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 035

You deserved it 3 532

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 987

You deserved it 3 774

By single now - 26/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 417

You deserved it 4 326

By Tomaino - 18/08/2019 04:02

Today, my best friend got drunk and told me he's only friends with me because no one else will be friends with him. He then went on to tell me that he wasn't actually that drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 155

By ak. - 02/03/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 701

You deserved it 11 368

Next

Top comments

rahulcool7 14

Thursday 25 July 2013 9:11

Don't listen to them they sound pretty dumb

cottoncandymango 17

Thursday 25 July 2013 9:13

Even though drunk words are sober thoughts, there was absolutely no need for them to be assholes. They're just shit-faced. Literally.

Comments

Fmlsea 28

Sunday 28 July 2013 7:14

if nothing cheers you up, then theres nothing better then a brand new makeover .

Midnightdawn 12

Sunday 28 July 2013 21:43

I really hope you punched them

schalk 12

Monday 29 July 2013 22:36

You know, someone that drunk will easily throw up if you punch them in the gut right.

luvpuppy 13

Tuesday 30 July 2013 15:58

Omigosh! You're like the only OP who lives in Ontario! That's awesome!

silvanawernli 5

Wednesday 31 July 2013 23:20

THEY ARE SO MEAN, DON'T LISTEN TO THEM

DeadMason 9

Sunday 9 August 2015 7:42

i thought canada was full of nice people

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 238

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 636

You deserved it 1 195

The Top

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 328

You deserved it 2 856

Today, my son was arrested for tagging a wall with the well known symbol of a certain evil Nazi leader. Not only that, the police showed me a picture of the graffiti and turns out he’s so dumb he couldn’t even draw the symbol properly and gave up after 4 failed attempts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 249

Today, a toddler threw up on my backpack mid-flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 618

You deserved it 382

Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 309

You deserved it 7 157

Today, my brother asked to borrow a hammer, a chisel, and a drill just in case. I asked him if he was finally getting round to starting work on his apartment. Nope, he was just going to crack open a coconut he'd bought at the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 515

You deserved it 2 101

Today, my ex-best friend reached out just to be a dick. We all had tickets to a concert and she decided that she didn't want to go. She said that I could find someone to sell her ticket to, and I did, but then she sold it to someone that I'm not friends with anymore, and told me that she "can do whatever she wants :)". FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 129