Miscellaneous: Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting...

By how - 25/07/2013 04:10 - United States - Crozier

Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 152

You deserved it 3 394

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By ThatGirl - 19/07/2012 15:30 - United States

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 559

You deserved it 2 203

By Al - 10/03/2010 02:07 - United States

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 006

You deserved it 2 920

Risky

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 10:01

Today, I poured gas around my house for pest control. I can still smell it from inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 1 878

Fixed

By Anonymous - 11/04/2020 05:00

Today, my husband, who repairs appliances for a living, repaired our dryer. One lot of wet clothes later, it caught fire and ruined the laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 131

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 596

You deserved it 4 982

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 950

You deserved it 3 440

Leave spiders alone

By Anonymous - 01/01/2021 01:01 - United States - Atoka

Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 1 926

Showered

By stew - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it took me more than four hours to set up the back yard for my daughter's baby shower. It only took my husband one push of a button to turn on the sprinklers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 520

You deserved it 3 978

Stop! Hammertime!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2022 00:00

Today, my husband picked up and threw a hammer which smashed a hole in the plastic side of the conservatory, that daylight and rain can now get through, all because he “thought” he saw a mouse, which turned out to be one of my fluffy slippers half hidden under a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 151

This is why we can't have nice things.

By Anonymous - 29/09/2017 20:00

Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 205

You deserved it 446

hnaggar 15

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:12

Well, fire will keep em away too

bikramkohli 11

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:14

perhaps you need stupidity repellents, instead?

Comments

hnaggar 15

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:12

Well, fire will keep em away too

Jjimen1654 9

Thursday 25 July 2013 16:15

Yep thats a win, sort of.

thatisaWIN 5

Thursday 25 July 2013 22:33

Yes it is :)

bikramkohli 11

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:14

perhaps you need stupidity repellents, instead?

awkward611 26

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:16

oh wow poor flowers

Mynameislinh 24

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:19

Gee... I would suggest not letting him barbecue, either.

_Neshaa 5

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:20

Well, at least the mosquitoes are gone...

DyslexicPanda 12

Friday 26 July 2013 0:59

You don't know that...

QQmore_fml 18

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:20

Well for he get rid of the Mosquito's? Think of the positives ^_^

QQmore_fml 18

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:24

Shit!.. Well did he get rid of****

QQmore_fml 18

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:36

Shit!... Well did he get rid***

SpaceRaptor 8

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:25

You will need fire to shoo away the giant mutant mosquito's when the apocalypse comes , be happy that your husband is prepared.

SolarFlare 20

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:28

I hope your House is undamaged

brewmasterg 34

Thursday 25 July 2013 14:19

I too hope for the safety of Hugh Laurie.

azzy94 7

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:32

You know what they say, fire keeps the bugs away

PandaSmile 24

Thursday 25 July 2013 12:43

Kill them with fire!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was in the shower having a little fun with the detachable shower head. I didn’t know anyone else was home until I heard a toilet flush and scalding hot water flooded my cooch. I think I need to go to the ER, but I’m too embarrassed to ask for a ride there. I can’t walk or sit properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 549

You deserved it 618

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I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

The Top

Today, I took my car into the shop to get a minor problem fixed. I left several hours later, without my car. Why? The mechanic crashed it while out on a test drive to make sure he'd fixed the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 108

You deserved it 2 151

Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 267

You deserved it 3 529

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 720

You deserved it 881

Today, I sprained my bicep. The urgent care doctor told me to take it easy on weight lifting. When I told him I hurt myself holding a book, he had to leave the room because he couldn’t stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 250

Today, I realized that my only chance of being promoted was if I moved to a bigger city… twenty years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 112

Today, I updated my list of "quit smoking rewards" to include new clothes. New clothes to fit my new voluptuous body, because the question of how I used to stay thin has been answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 858

You deserved it 648

Same thing different taste

Risky

Fixed

Leave spiders alone

Showered

Stop! Hammertime!

This is why we can't have nice things.

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