Health: Close encounters

Close encounters

By blarp - 17/10/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 724

You deserved it 2 815

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Same thing different taste

By hardee fucking har yourself, sir - 07/08/2013 22:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 600

You deserved it 4 048

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 620

You deserved it 1 755

Stranger danger

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:35 - United States - Calhoun

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 2 814

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 608

You deserved it 2 609

By ThoroughlyCreepedOut - 07/03/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 336

You deserved it 2 251

Pissed

By TJ. - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 3 079

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 317

You deserved it 4 358

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 063

You deserved it 3 580

Way too public

By stewiesclone - 11/02/2010 09:09 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 993

You deserved it 3 063

By yepintheladiesroom - 07/06/2014 21:37 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 747

You deserved it 5 640

Tyger44 1

Monday 17 October 2011 11:59

"no,sir i think not.ER now"

Ikushka 3

Monday 17 October 2011 12:03

No man and you aren't supposed to be asking me either

Comments

The_Instigator 11

Monday 17 October 2011 12:17

This is where you just walk away.

Wheredidgrungego 12

Monday 17 October 2011 12:49

And then boil your eyes

CryMoreFMLs 14

Monday 17 October 2011 14:42

And burn your memories with kerosine fire.

raphanne_fml 33

Monday 17 October 2011 16:16

And die.

bizarre_ftw 21

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:45

Rasputin style.

colbyb 0

Friday 16 December 2011 18:04

I completely agree

detorio 2

Monday 17 October 2011 12:21

That's just... Nasty

datoismyname 22

Monday 17 October 2011 16:58

Just like your mustache

Adman567 9

Monday 17 October 2011 12:27

Yes sir, your penis IS supposed to look like a furry red imflamed behive, sooo glad u asked me! :)

ry_ry7 4

Monday 17 October 2011 13:04

And it IS supposed to be super painful when you relieve yourself. That's pretty disgusting...

auzzrage 1

Monday 17 October 2011 15:26

is it really meant to be like that? I hope so, now I know I'm not alone

HideouslyHuman 10

Monday 17 October 2011 21:14

Yes it isn't!

ChantelRenaeee 0

Monday 17 October 2011 12:28

Then you sucked it and said, now it looks perfect. ;) Aww gays are cute.

Sonic_boomerang 5

Monday 17 October 2011 12:39

That's just dumb.

Adman567 9

Monday 17 October 2011 12:42

Im with 21 on that one

ChantelRenaeee 0

Monday 17 October 2011 12:44

Haha

NoNotTheFace 8

Monday 17 October 2011 12:46

Is that what you would do to get things heated up? Suck on an infected penis? Mission Herpes Dick 2 Mouth: Accomplished.

mrahhhhh 21

Monday 17 October 2011 12:56

Why am I not surprised that a 13 year old posted that?

Bofferding_fml 6

Monday 17 October 2011 12:28

And thats why you dont try to stick your dick in a bee nest. Might look like a nice tight hole, but it ain't!

TeeHee124 0

Monday 17 October 2011 14:15

Oh god that thought made me cringe

rmeyer6 0

Monday 17 October 2011 14:38

know from experience?

auzzrage 1

Monday 17 October 2011 15:12

16 has obviously never tried it, it's quite enjoyable

rawrkittyrawr 6

Monday 17 October 2011 21:24

Just gotta get used to the stings

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 18 October 2011 2:49

Why is there CUM in my honey?

noel_ani 0

Monday 17 October 2011 12:32

I feel like he has lived with his penis long enough to know it shouldn't look like that....

itsalanis 25

Monday 17 October 2011 12:37

its best to use a can of crisco and a shot glass, not a beehive. my goodness, hope you told that guy to go get that checked out asap.

NoNotTheFace 8

Monday 17 October 2011 12:39

You could've put it delicately and said "Urm no sir. I reckon you get that checked out" Or you could've been like... GET THAT MUTILATED ****** AWAY FROM ME. Both send the same message.