Relatable and Work: Comforting

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Comforting

By imaginationdarling - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 763

You deserved it 7 374

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Same thing different taste

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 840

You deserved it 3 912

By ohcrap - 02/06/2011 10:05 - United States

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 253

You deserved it 36 405

By colebear - 27/05/2011 08:45 - United States

Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 811

You deserved it 9 195

Hey good lookin'

By Creepster - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 642

You deserved it 51 517

If the shoe fits…

By marina1686 - 20/09/2019 20:00

Today, I worked a 9-hour retail like this. I didn't notice until 3 hours into my shift and had to deal with this embarrassment for the next 6 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 1 017

Been there, done that

By Christine - 30/12/2024 15:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I mistook a mannequin in a store for a real person and apologized when I bumped into it. A staff member saw and said, "Don’t worry, he’s used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 115

Natural history

By latino - 11/11/2010 11:30 - United States

Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 549

You deserved it 43 721

Left hanging

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 19:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at work, and I had to tell my manager I was calling someone to bring me a bra as mine had broken mid-shift. I was the only woman on shift. It took them 30 minutes to show up and I still had to serve front of house while I waited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 249

The Gap

By mimabee - 14/06/2011 13:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 728

You deserved it 13 853

Whoops

By Teen - 24/01/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 136

You deserved it 3 017

qwtf 14

Wednesday 14 May 2014 7:58

Match.com? E-harmony? If is been that long, maybe start looking online? There's someone out there for you :)

username53001 7

Wednesday 14 May 2014 8:07

That must have been the breast feeling ever.

Comments

gracehi 31

Wednesday 14 May 2014 8:22

**** dating sites. Matter of fact, **** human beings. Get a puppy! You'll be drowning in affection before you know it!

ignorantpopcorn 12

Wednesday 14 May 2014 8:29

*sigh*

tashahoneyy 13

Wednesday 14 May 2014 8:31

that would be hard from the start....

J3R3MYY 14

Wednesday 14 May 2014 8:33

She just didn't spell out the abbreviation guys it's ok. She meant to say lots of love OP, lots of love!

lbrown66 12

Wednesday 14 May 2014 8:42

If you can touch it, it's real.

iLike2Teabag 27

Wednesday 14 May 2014 9:44

False. You can touch Lindsay Lohan's boobs, but they are definitely not real.

foxwasalamb 24

Wednesday 14 May 2014 10:02

i cant thumbs up you enough!

foxwasalamb 24

Wednesday 14 May 2014 9:43

so whats her name? you taking her out again? cmon spill the dirt

cakefete2 30

Wednesday 14 May 2014 15:31

Her name is serial number 468227. Her and the OP have been on two more dates since this post, and the relationship is blossoming.

howlingwolf89 16

Wednesday 14 May 2014 9:56

You should go out more often OP

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 14 May 2014 10:04

It's something but you'll find someoen

badluckalex 23

Wednesday 14 May 2014 10:32

no... just no.

avapaige1234 19

Wednesday 14 May 2014 10:53

Aww. I feel your pain, OP. Online dating sites should work for you though.

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The Top

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 821

You deserved it 35 025

Today, only some excellent security footage stopped me being arrested after I bumped into a young girl while looking at my phone and her mother, an Uber Karen, accused me of sexual assault and an off-duty woman police officer tackled me to the ground before I'd even took off my headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 281

You deserved it 128

The Top

Today, like most days, I awoke from a dream where my hair was long again. This time, it was in the way while I was trying to drink water from a fountain. I lost my hair from chemo; it's slowly growing back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 350

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 502

You deserved it 44 194

Today, after filling fuel in my car, I drove off. The guy behind me left almost at the time. He was behind me, beeping his horn and flashing his lights. I pulled up alongside him at the lights and rolled down the window to ask him what the fuck his problem was. He promptly proceeded to tell me that my fuel cap was still open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 677

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 386

You deserved it 3 690

Today, I was doing a striptease for my crush on FaceTime. I’d forgotten to lock my bedroom door and my mom came barging in, yelling at me to, “Stop leaving your period blood on the toilet seat!” She also saw that I was in my bra and panties, and left in disgust. My crush hung up and he won’t return my calls or texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 767

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 847

You deserved it 12 334

Same thing different taste

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