Stressed out

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I realized that being chronically stressed since I was 12 has made me look older than I am. I used to be the youngest looking kid in my high school. That lead to me being ignored and mistaken for an innocent kid, causing me stress. As a 25 year-old adult, I work my ass off just to survive, causing me stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 158

Take a chill pill

By Anonymous - 01/12/2023 09:00

Today, my smartwatch decided I needed a "stress level" alert during a perfectly calm meeting. It vibrated aggressively, and my boss suggested I take up yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 151

Frazzled

By Stressed - 17/10/2023 00:30 - United States

Today, at the ungodly hour of 11 PM, my dad called to tell me he was driving my mom to the hospital because she was having breathing problems. It turned out to be nothing serious, but my brain decided to freak out anyway, effectively making me unable to fall asleep. Now, I have to go to work like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 269

I hate myself

By trixanne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 723

You deserved it 3 951

Horny but flustered

By Anonymous - 22/07/2023 00:02

Today, I experienced gay panic. I've felt like this before, but all the other people of the same gender I've liked I had no chance with. This time, I might have a chance with this person, if I don't screw it up like how I did last time. Please please please don't be straight or already taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 477

Can't we all just get along?

By Anonymous - 20/07/2023 03:00

Today, while celebrating my birthday, my family found time after a few drinks to start at least one argument, if not more, and drove me to biting my nails off. I don't even remember the last time that happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 145

Life imitates life

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 22:00

Today, I went to a job interview and had a brilliant answer prepared for a common job interview question, but as soon as the interviewer asked what my main qualities were, my mind went blank and I blurted out, "I like turtles." FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 283

Never miss a chance to sit down

By wookieewhosshe - 05/06/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom - Cowdenbeath

Today, I was so busy all the time that I actually got a thrill out of sitting down and taking the weight off my feet. On the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 141

Lifegoals

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 18:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, I’m unemployed with no children and hardly any social life, so you’d think my life was a constant, boring holiday, when in fact I'm so busy every day that I think I might have to designate myself a “day off” just to recover from the stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 353

Peace and quiet

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 18:00

Today, after a long and stressful week, all I wanted was some time to myself with a few beers and a good video game. My girlfriend apparently disliked this, because she started blasting Cardi B, ran the vacuum behind me, and poured my beer down the sink when I used the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 219

I've had enough

By Anonymous - 29/03/2023 02:00

Today, I woke up after only 2 hours of sleep because I just got off night duty in the hospital and I'm adjusting to a normal sleep cycle. When I got to work it was so hectic, I was just running on willpower. When I thought life couldn't get any worse, on my way home my tire blew in the middle of the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 96

Jack-in-the-box

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 22:00

Today, I realized that I'm a better human being when drunk or high, because at least then I don't seem like a wind-up toy about to snap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 240

Mah baws

By Anonymous - 30/09/2022 23:00

Today, my girlfriend's favourite thing to do when upset is lie next to me and play with my balls. She says it’s a comfort thing, like my sack is her emotional support toy. It’s a total pain, when she’s upset it’s lie down and balls out, but she never touches my penis, despite it making me horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 789

You deserved it 470

Thanks, I feel better

By meowcat101 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my dad took me to play golf to relieve the stress of recovering from a bad concussion. While teaching me to swing, he hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 897

You deserved it 3 321

Based

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 18:00 - Germany

Today, it seems my body wants me to be a hermit: alone in nature for days, I'm fine. Yet to any kind of stress – like being at the office or in a social setting – my body reacts with smelly sweats, extreme bloating, and frequent flatulence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 139

Why is the last mile the hardest mile?

By oldhabitsdiehard - 03/07/2022 14:00 - Netherlands - Wageningen

Today, I'm supposed to hand in my Master's thesis. I only very vaguely remember my enthusiasm of six months ago, but remember clearly that - this time - I was planning to start in time and avoid last-minute stress. Seeing the sun come up at 5 a.m. tells me that it was a tad too optimistic. Just ten more hours to go… FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 1 061

Not helping

By Anonymous - 19/05/2022 14:00

Today, I wanted to be alone for once, so I went out for dinner, planning to go to the cinema afterwards. My sister ambushed me at the restaurant because she’d heard I was stressed out and wanted to be alone, so she thought she should keep me company while I was alone to make me feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 122

Parental pressure

By asian-indian-kid - 09/05/2022 02:00

Today, my dad reminded me that he expects me to try to get into a prestigious (read: top 5, braggable) university for undergrad. I just want to be normal and go to an above average school where I can thrive, instead of killing my mental health now and then mutilating its dead body after I go to college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 149

Symptomatic

By Anonymous - 27/02/2022 13:59 - Germany

Today, I discovered that a high enough stress level can cause the same symptoms as the flu. So whenever things are quite awful at work, I get the added bonus of feeling like I’m coming down with something really nasty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 93

Stressed out

By Anonymous - 16/02/2022 18:00

Today, at my highly stressful job, I found a note telling me to urgently call Margaret. I had no idea who that was and I wasted 2 hours trying to find out if she was in our legal department, political, media, sales, etc. until I remembered. Margaret is my baby sister. I may need a less stressful job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 330

Shut up already!

By Anonymous - 30/12/2021 17:01

Today, I thought working through the holidays would mean little to do and the boss telling me stories all day. Actually, it meant having loads to do, while my boss was telling me stories regardless, effectively keeping me from doing the work he is paying me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 217

Help!

By Anonymous - 18/11/2021 19:58

Today, our boss nicely asked if we were stressed. Before I could answer in the affirmative and ask for help, my colleague replied, “Stress is for the weak!” She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 136

I'm totally wired, can't you see?

By Anonymous - 03/11/2021 20:00

Today, because of my new job, I'm so tired I can’t think straight anymore. Long hours to make a sterling first impression? Nope. I haven’t even started working yet, I’m just exhausted because it all stresses me to the point I can’t sleep at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 268

Treat yourself

By dll - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Calgary

Today, I had a bubble bath to help me relax. I was more stressed out by the sound of all the bubbles popping than I was to begin with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 359

You deserved it 9 126

The root

By Anonymous - 02/08/2021 02:01 - United States - Floral Park

Today, I got a lecture from my mother about how bad my stress has been, how I have to treat myself better and do something with my life. She still doesn't realize that most of the cause of my stress has been from her berating me about how stressed out I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 111

Gonna need it

By Anonymous - 22/07/2021 07:59

Today, I decided that I was going to see a counselor due to the high amounts of stress my life. I planned to book the appointment when I got home. As soon as I got home, I noticed I had been robbed while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 89

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The Top

Today, my mother is such a nosy, intruding busybody, she has driven away my last three boyfriends who could no longer stand her. My latest fella had even proposed, but he asked for the ring back and you can bet he blamed my mother for repeatedly involving herself in our private business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 271

You deserved it 478

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 372

You deserved it 6 869

The Top

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 876

You deserved it 8 031

Today, I got angry at my computer, and instead of bashing my keyboard with my fists, I bashed my face on the keyboard. It REALLY hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 2 924

Today, the person recently hired to work in my spot during my days off started at a higher hourly rate than me, after I have been here for nearly three years. I asked for a raise and got a dollar more; meanwhile, my regional counterparts make 4 dollars more per hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 171

Today, I started my first day as a waitress. After getting my ass slapped, drinks and food spilled over me, and being tripped by a bratty kid, my tips were stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 177

You deserved it 2 659

Today, it started raining unexpectedly. My daughter and I didn't have an umbrella, so my daughter raised one of my big flabby arms and put it over her head to protect her from the rain. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 303

You deserved it 45 240

Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 899

You deserved it 3 607