Birthday, Deez Nuts and Kids: Counterstrike

Counterstrike

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 05:40 - United States

Today, I took my 8 year-old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child, and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 381

You deserved it 3 495

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 56 260

By xoVioLoveox - 10/03/2009 02:04 - United States

Today, I was babysitting an eleven year-old boy. He decided we would play with Nerf guns with Velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck to his pants, and he wiggled it for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 285

You deserved it 13 275

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 513

Weird kid

By LGraham - 16/06/2020 20:08

Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 329

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 211

You deserved it 3 626

You did ask…

By Anonymous - 01/05/2012 00:22 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 960

You deserved it 4 355

By just me - 13/05/2012 18:54 - Germany - Overath

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 193

You deserved it 3 481

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 18:01

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew, who told me he learned about fire safety today. I asked him what he'd do if there was a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell over, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 370

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 4 389

So, here's the thing…

By dad - 28/04/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 651

lainzilla 14

Saturday 30 January 2010 13:42

That isn't how you play laser tag?

chasin_butterfli 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 12:21

Did you at least get to shoot the little turd?

Comments

ihavenoname123 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 12:03

Was that the FIRST time that's happened?

chasin_butterfli 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 12:19

yeah slick, I caught that. lol

sidvoltaire 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:14

word

MF12 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 19:02

haha I do that too :)

Caayouteepie 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 19:55

Less qq, more pew pew.

Shystai 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:25

I would destroy that little brat.

angrytaco26 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 8:35

says the guy who's profile pic is probally from a gay **** site, way to be violent

GiddyXD 0

Thursday 8 April 2010 0:34

you shoulda screamed out " noob hacker " nah jk jk but fyl man

Person1233 12

Saturday 30 January 2010 12:05

and you didn't throw him across the room is because he's a child .... ? Pussy.

CronosDage 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 15:23

Aaa-and, not being Laser Tag, but Laser Quest, they have random people and staff which will kick your ass out the door.

lettertjes 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 12:07

If you were the adult in charge, wasn't it YOUR job to go over the rules? (or to make sure that they were all there when an amployee explained)

Person1233 12

Saturday 30 January 2010 12:10

The people that work at the Laser Tag place are supposed to explain the rules. /rolleyes

lettertjes 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 12:22

Well apparently the rules were explained to the other kids, so this one kid just went missing during the rule-explaining and OP didn't notice. That might be even worse.

null_fml 11

Saturday 30 January 2010 12:29

#3/9: He was using rhetoric. Such should be obvious when using one's brain. Not that you'd know anything about that, apparently. Oh hey, nice sneaky editing to try and get away without looking like an idiot though. (The part in parentheses in #3 was originally not there).

YeahFMLxX 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 18:17

@3,9 stop using a rabbit as your picture you nine year old. It's simply annoying you troll.

Person1233 12

Saturday 30 January 2010 12:09

Edit: suppose to be a reply.

bettadenne1 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 12:13

hahaha sucks to be u sonn

chasin_butterfli 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 12:21

Did you at least get to shoot the little turd?

Carbonchild 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 12:22

Hey, close combat. Be happy he didn't bayonet you. Lol

glen12 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 13:00

so let me get this straight. u went to laser tag and some noob didn't no the rules so he kicked u in the balls? either yr lieing or u previked him into doing it