Weird kid

By LGraham - 16/06/2020 20:08

Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 329

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Right in the nuts

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 06:01

Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 244

Early wake-up

By Bir - 08/12/2019 14:00 - Nepal

Today, my nephew grabbed my balls to wake me up at 4 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 170

Counterstrike

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 05:40 - United States

Today, I took my 8 year-old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child, and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 381

You deserved it 3 495

By Ginger_Gawd - 21/01/2014 03:34 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 492

You deserved it 46 141

Right in the snowglobes

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Tilehurst

Today, my sister kicked me in the balls just before I went into the bathroom, as she wanted to use the shower first. Later, when I came out of the bathroom, she kneed me this time in the same spot because apparently I always make a mess in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 198

By TKDConnor92 - 22/07/2011 10:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 659

You deserved it 6 733

By scotsgal - 05/01/2014 05:11 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my 5-year-old nephew to clean up his mess of toys. He responded by kicking my foot. My bandaged foot which was still recovering from my surgery last week. I'm probably going to need another operation to fix the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 085

You deserved it 5 092

By Anonymous - 08/11/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 200

You deserved it 8 039

By ouch - 29/01/2010 20:19 - United States

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 241

You deserved it 5 280

Iron Man

By Anonymous - 14/12/2009 23:46 - United States

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 676

You deserved it 38 480

daddycaitlin 13

Tuesday 16 June 2020 20:22

I wouldn’t say this if he was younger, but kick the ****** back.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 16 June 2020 22:37

At 12, his balls should be kickable and he'll be susceptible to grown-man pain. You kneed to get revenge.

Comments

daddycaitlin 13

Tuesday 16 June 2020 20:22

I wouldn’t say this if he was younger, but kick the ****** back.

samomaha 17

Tuesday 16 June 2020 21:13

Where the hell are his parents?!? They need to discipline his a$$.

Jack Mckernan 4

Sunday 11 April 2021 20:18

Seriously? He said fair and square. It seems like this was a bonding activity fight gone wrong.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 16 June 2020 22:37

At 12, his balls should be kickable and he'll be susceptible to grown-man pain. You kneed to get revenge.

AmbrosiaFan 18

Tuesday 16 June 2020 23:23

You know he's going to do it so prepare yourself. hopefully him hitting the guard on hurts like hell. Accidentally get him in the gonads and see how he likes it.

TexasKitten79 6

Wednesday 17 June 2020 2:08

I'd say hit him in his balls every time he does it to you. Not full force, but tell him, "You do that again and I'll hit you back." It's the only way kids like that learn. If he doesn't learn, he's going to do it to the wrong person and get the sh*t kicked out of him.

watcher_man 4

Wednesday 17 June 2020 3:39

kick the shit out of him. he's old enough!

adjwejaelwkdc 21

Wednesday 17 June 2020 3:43

He kicked you in the nuts and it was "fair and square"? What the hell were you doing?

mccuish 25

Wednesday 17 June 2020 7:15

Give the kid a nice kick in the balls. He’s 12 years old, so he should know better

Baby_123 8

Wednesday 17 June 2020 14:21

Take away his phone or something he loves for ever time he’s done it and if that doesn’t work kick him back until he promises never to do it again

raven_of_azarath 34

Wednesday 17 June 2020 18:26

I feel like it’s important to point out that “fair and square” means you got what was coming for you. Either you chose the wrong idiom, or you did something to deserve being kicked in the balls.