Creepy crawlies

By Anonymous - 27/07/2020 17:01

Today, a friend of mine told me, after coming over to my house for years, that she has tiny "bugs" that are attached to her and follow her wherever she goes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 123

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Same thing different taste

A visitor

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 12:00 - Germany - Leer

Today, I had a walk-in: a tiny tick, crawling through my bathroom window, looking down at me in the shower, wondering whether I might be tasty. The window was closed, by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 109

Keep them to yourself, buddy

By minder97 - 17/10/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 785

You deserved it 2 718

TMI

By Anonymous - 28/07/2020 02:02

Today, my granny had the phone on loudspeaker, talking to a friend. When the conversation turned from the price of potatoes to ticks in hard-to-reach places, I fleed into the garden. First thing granny tells me once I’m back: The details of how that tick was all the way up in her friend’s husband’s crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 302

You deserved it 147

By ant_hater - 28/08/2011 18:18 - United States

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 633

You deserved it 2 525

By annonymous - 28/02/2010 06:31 - France

Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 879

You deserved it 6 945

The Summoner

By Anonymous - 14/09/2020 05:02

Today, I've lived in my apartment for over 5 years with no bugs, as I'm phobic of them. I broke up with my ex, who smirked at me and declared war. I now have thousands of roaches that I can't get rid of. Coincidence? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 172

By ewwww - 26/05/2013 17:55 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 580

You deserved it 4 318

By browngirl - 29/09/2013 04:16 - Canada - Vernon

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 865

You deserved it 4 972

By MyNameIsNotJeff - 08/05/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 224

You deserved it 3 110

Creepy

By Username - 03/10/2011 17:58 - United States

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 510

You deserved it 3 368

RichardPencil 30

Monday 27 July 2020 17:06

Does she mean insects or listening devices? The latter is more batshit crazy and interesting, and the former sounds like you're just plain dirty.

Marcella1016 31

Monday 27 July 2020 22:26

Yes hopefully the latter. She may be just a little crazy and harmless. If it’s the former...she could also be crazy and they’re imaginary. And she’s also harmless. Or if she has literal bugs crawling all over her (following her??) and you never noticed anything in three years...I guess meaning they’re harmless. Or your house is already “bugged” and you didn’t notice the extras. Orrrr she’s crazy and not harmless. And you should run before she decides you’re out to get her too and she tries to do something about it. Seriously, maybe find a way to suggest she talk to a professional. I know a paranoid delusional person and the meds definitely help her. She remains harmless.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 27 July 2020 17:06

Does she mean insects or listening devices? The latter is more batshit crazy and interesting, and the former sounds like you're just plain dirty.

Marcella1016 31

Monday 27 July 2020 22:26

RichardPencil 30

Monday 27 July 2020 21:10

Why do some stories get lots of comments and others barely any? Someone put themselves out there to get your sympathy, advice or humiliating taunts. C'mon, people, let's pretend we give a shit!

Marcella1016 31

Monday 27 July 2020 22:21

Come on we don’t want to add shit to his bug problem. That would just make it worse.

Marcella1016 31

Monday 27 July 2020 22:27

Hmm my comments tend to be replies; rarely ever plain new comments. I guess I’m a follower and not a leader. FML.

power_in_the_now 19

Monday 27 July 2020 21:25

Richard, I think this one just plainly doesn’t make much sense

RichardPencil 30

Monday 27 July 2020 22:36

You're right and that's where the FML community needs to come to the rescue. Now is the time to fill in the blanks and make outlandish assumptions to save the day!