Kids, Gross, Creepypasta and Health: Creepypasta

Creepypasta

By mrsekko - 31/05/2011 12:44 - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 868

You deserved it 5 298

Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 366

You deserved it 2 784

Oh, hai Mark!

By lyle - 02/04/2021 08:00

Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 201

I've known for ages

By Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 090

You deserved it 7 186

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 146

You deserved it 6 497

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 488

You deserved it 4 814

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 08:03 - United States

Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 860

You deserved it 3 438

Better out than in

By Anonymous - 06/11/2018 05:00

Today, my daughter told me her tummy hurt, but I assumed she was lying because she hates visiting grandma. About 20 minutes into the car ride, she got excited and said, "Mum my tummy doesn’t hurt anymore!" About 10 seconds later, the smell filled the car right up to the roof. It was diarrhoea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 3 756

By ouch - 19/12/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 353

You deserved it 3 816

Symphony

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 496

You deserved it 5 205

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 103

You deserved it 3 659

FMLandurstoo 9

Tuesday 31 May 2011 19:04

They're gonna get you! Just like I'm gonna get Chris.

Jarvo_666 6

Tuesday 31 May 2011 18:59

I chucked up a little..

Comments

25shark 5

Thursday 2 June 2011 1:15

sexy

irritatedone 5

Thursday 2 June 2011 3:46

hope they don't grow into shit weasels like in that Stephen king movie

fencer49 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 4:11

ttthhhatsssssss a very niceeeeee daughter you have there.... would be a ssssssshame if somthing were to happen to her. ssssssssss

cherryllollo 7

Thursday 2 June 2011 8:38

more like **** her life. but I am sorry to hear that. hope she gets better!

obrien813 6

Thursday 2 June 2011 13:50

what are they? Tapeworms?

Auntie_Christ 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 19:24

What the hell do you feed her?

kylielaura 1

Friday 3 June 2011 19:33

parent of the year right there!!

rofl99 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 5:47

i feel sorry for her! she had parasites? they can kill. i mean rlly i feel srry for her. her stomach must have rlly hurt. :(

rofl99 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 5:52

hypnoworm!!! wawawawawawa :3

shoecrazy 5

Sunday 5 June 2011 0:50

gross!! f her life not yours..

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Break-ups Love Relatable Work Engagement Coworkers I need your advice Awkward Parents School Parenting Kids Birthday Miscellaneous Cooking Cats Food Messy Embarrassing Weddings Dance Texting Health Poopoo peepee Clumsy Clothes Mental health Annoying Noise Money

The Top

Today, my dad admitted to dating and getting my stepdaughter pregnant, and they’re very happy. My wife is furious. Meanwhile, my brother pointed out it’s a real life version of the Willie Nelson song. Once the baby is born, our inbred family tree will result in me technically being my own grandad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 91

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend was planning on proposing to me tomorrow. I found out after receiving a couple of a dozen texts from friends and relatives bitching me out for not telling them. Apparently, my dad thought it would be appropriate to make the announcement for me on his Facebook page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 102

The Top

Today, in a train, I did the old "I've got your nose" trick for a kid. He got off at the next stop, then waved something at me from the platform, then yelled, "I've got your keys!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 501

You deserved it 7 035

Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 484

You deserved it 3 715

Today, my ex-girlfriend from high school has been at her new college for a week. She broke up with me because she wanted to meet new people and leave high school behind her. That was understandable… until my best friend showed me texts from her trying to arrange to hook up with him when she’s back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 105

Today, I finally had someone else touch my man parts. It was my doctor, checking for testicular cancer and a hernia, as part of my yearly physical. He's the only person other than myself to touch my junk in the last 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 228

Today, I received a package that I thought contained a textbook for law school, for which I paid $130 used. Instead, I received a paperback novel titled "The Nosy Neighbor" by Fern Michaels. My semester starts next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 122

Today, my parents want nothing to do with me because I can’t stop spending money. Buying junk food is the one thing that makes me happy, and I’ve been to countless therapists and tried every medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 618

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments