Dogs, Phobias and Animals: Cujo

Cujo

By Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 2 894

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Same thing different taste

By -_- - 29/03/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 979

You deserved it 5 357

Windy day

By Tree - 21/03/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my dog was about to get hit by a tree branch, so I yelled for him to move. He got mad and started barking at me. And got nailed by the tree branch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 135

By life// - 08/01/2013 23:56 - Canada - Fort Mcmurray

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 661

You deserved it 5 196

Bad boy

By Dammit - 31/05/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 112

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 1 253

By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 23:15 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 749

You deserved it 1 975

By anon - 19/06/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk. It became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman runs up to me and whacks me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 247

You deserved it 2 814

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 279

You deserved it 9 704

Chill out, dude

By Anonymous - 27/09/2012 15:31 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 806

You deserved it 2 106

Dog people

By peta eata - 02/08/2021 13:01 - United States

Today, a crazed woman started screaming at me at the dog park. She was saying that I was cruel and unfit to be a pet owner, and she ought to kick my ass. My dog's ears and tail were cropped before I even got him. He’s a rescue and came to me like this. She wouldn’t listen and followed me to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 89

Gloritank 8

Thursday 13 October 2011 18:55

Were you pissin on his territory?

tylersign 11

Thursday 13 October 2011 18:57

Should have gotten off his damn lawn. Kids and their shenanigans these days.

Comments

every1luvsboners 11

Thursday 13 October 2011 20:00

I used the same excuse and was still charged with being a peeping tom. Although it was 2 am and the dog was inside his house and I was partially nude.

hoonyer 17

Thursday 13 October 2011 20:27

if it was possible to favorite comments this one would be on my list hahah

Corygerm 9

Thursday 13 October 2011 22:10

not funny, trying too hard.

MeGustaFace 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 20:15

Do you really talk like that or are you just trying to sound smart? Either way, it's annoying

goobergirlie 5

Thursday 13 October 2011 20:33

like yoda: "wounds, he intended on inflicting."

CloverFuchs 6

Friday 28 October 2011 22:55

@31: Is it really so difficult for you to conceive that some might write differently than you? Probably so, as if you find this FML to be 'sounding smart' on purpose or difficult to read in any way, you might need to take some remedial English courses.

structuredchaoz 4

Thursday 13 October 2011 20:23

Report them immediately.

ForTheRavers 11

Thursday 13 October 2011 20:27

You almost don't make any sense...

hoonyer 17

Thursday 13 October 2011 20:32

haha this reminds me of a time where a giant rottweiler charged me out of a 2ft gap that had been left on a garage door, luckily he was tied to a water faucet, unluckily the rope was easily 20ft long :(

ArsenalFan12 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 20:34

this is an FML website. stop being so eloquent

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 13 October 2011 20:54

You should report the dog to the authorities. Most places have regulations about keeping dogs on a leash. I've seen so many news reports of children or older people mauled by someones' dog that was roaming free.