Dogs, Phobias and Animals: Cujo

Cujo

By Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 020

You deserved it 2 894

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Same thing different taste

By -_- - 29/03/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 979

You deserved it 5 357

Windy day

By Tree - 21/03/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my dog was about to get hit by a tree branch, so I yelled for him to move. He got mad and started barking at me. And got nailed by the tree branch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 135

By life// - 08/01/2013 23:56 - Canada - Fort Mcmurray

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 661

You deserved it 5 195

Bad boy

By Dammit - 31/05/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 112

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 1 252

By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 23:15 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 747

You deserved it 1 975

By anon - 19/06/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk. It became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman runs up to me and whacks me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 247

You deserved it 2 814

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 277

You deserved it 9 704

Chill out, dude

By Anonymous - 27/09/2012 15:31 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 805

You deserved it 2 106

Dog people

By peta eata - 02/08/2021 13:01 - United States

Today, a crazed woman started screaming at me at the dog park. She was saying that I was cruel and unfit to be a pet owner, and she ought to kick my ass. My dog's ears and tail were cropped before I even got him. He’s a rescue and came to me like this. She wouldn’t listen and followed me to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 89

Gloritank 8

Thursday 13 October 2011 18:55

Were you pissin on his territory?

tylersign 11

Thursday 13 October 2011 18:57

Should have gotten off his damn lawn. Kids and their shenanigans these days.

Comments

legresley85 1

Thursday 13 October 2011 21:32

To bad you don't know where this person lives. You could have called an animal shelter near by their home and informed them about the dog and owner. Its okay to train your dog to be a guard dog, it is not okay however to let it run away and possibly attack someone. It will get put down eventually sadly, some people should not be allowed to own animals. I also hope they don't have any children.

wild_n_out 8

Thursday 13 October 2011 21:38

No offense, but I don't understand how crap FMLs like this with grammatical errors get posted, but good ones don't. It doesn't make any sense....

bubo_fml 10

Thursday 13 October 2011 21:40

Another pussy stuck up in a tree...

miZscrZee 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 21:43

OMGSH. I would of cried! I dont even know how to climb a tree;; that's why I don't ever walk around the block..means dogs scare me.

Angel_Tigeress 5

Thursday 13 October 2011 22:00

This makes me sad. I hate shitty owners that treat their dogs so badly that they turn vicious. Usually, it isnt the dogs fault its mean- its just raised that way. But I am sorry you got chased up a tree, OP- not that it isnt just a LITTLE funny ;)

Corygerm 9

Thursday 13 October 2011 22:04

I wish I didn't have tiny Asian weiner:(

homieskillet 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 22:08

Lmao...

tona01 16

Thursday 13 October 2011 22:30

13 let me explain you Well it was a simple crack transaction in the snow-filled shores of the african tundra. The wind blew strongly, as the moonlight gave the icy african landscape a dark and gothic look, the one you expect monsters live in. He came with his chihuahua Fifi in a leash. The cloaked man and his chihuahua asked OP if he had the goods. Of course that Op didn't because OP was actually an undercover cop. The man quickly noticed this so he took fifi's leash releasing the beast in the process. Now you know how OP found himself in the situation the FMl speaks of.

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 13 October 2011 22:45

Part II, the twilight saga. Fifi, it seems, is a lycanthrope who only turns during the african full moon. Curse OPs luck that his undercover sting took him so far from his home, his beloved Florida, where the Aurora Australis would regale him with its wondrous colors. Now he was stuck in this tree with nothing but his left hand and a Klondike bar to entertain him. Unfortunately, for him, Fifi loves Klondike bar, and lycans can climb trees.

tona01 16

Thursday 13 October 2011 23:03

Part III Fifi's revenge Op saw his life flashing through his eyes, His childhood, especially the moment when he entered Boner's van searching for free candy. His first love, which sadly was his left hand.And the moment he took the neighborhood watch job, that damn job that took him on this sting. Suddently OP thoughts were interrupted by the sound of fifi's terrible roar.