Curb your expectations

By Academia - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I got accepted into University, onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them, since they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 347
You deserved it 3 088

Top comments

Don't listen to your parents. Just do what you want in life. It's your life, not theirs.

Let them be stupid. They'll regret it when they don't have any kids who come to see them or talk to them. They'll just come crawling back one day, and u can tell them they did it to themselves

Comments

Don't listen to your parents. Just do what you want in life. It's your life, not theirs.

OneNightStan 2

Couldn't agree more! work towards something that's going to make u happy in the future!

iLOLatURpain69 7

If your parents are like that, it may not be worth talking to them. They need to grow up.

eminemchick 19

exactly. let them disown you, theyll come back to you for retirement money later (;

Totally agreed. If they're that controlling and crazy, why would you want them in your life anyway? You have to live with your decision the rest of your life. They'll get over it, eventually.

dear OP I believe your parents are ******.

Okay.... So I'm reading all of these comments, and all of them are on your side. But is anyone thinking of what the parents? I mean, they are telling him to purse the right course because they want him to have a successful life, alright?! They don't want him in a place that may make his life difficult. All they want is happiness for the kid... I do agree that the "disowning" comment was a bit far but if you think about it, it's out of love. Maybe for the parent's taste, his older sister was not the brag-about child, so you should do better. :) (I mean this with all kindness and dont care how many thumbs down I get. I know my oldest bro is in a way in this spot, but I can see how my parents feel.)

Pixxio_O 11

Disown them before they disown you so you can tell everyone you disowned them first :)

enonymous 8

Dude these parents are bad asses. Do what we want or get replaced just like little Jimmy was replaced after he left the toilet seat up.

58, I that is completely fear-based thinking. If OP's parents make her do something that she doesn't like to do, she will be unhappy for the rest of her life, no matter how rich and successful she becomes. However, if OP purses her passion, she will be happy, even if she doesn't make as much money. Keep in mind that money doesn't buy happiness. My father is from India. His parents tried to make him become a doctor or an engineer, but my dad knew that that wasn't what he wanted to do. So, he rebelled. He loves playing tennis, so he decided to come half-way around the world to the United States, and build a tennis facility. He's now a certified teaching tennis pro, and owns a facility. Sure, he's doesn't make as much money as a doctor or an engineer, but the point is he's HAPPY (unlike the rest of his family who are all doctors and engineers and HATE their jobs). OP's parents definitely have good intentions, but good intentions mean nothing if the person who has them is ignorant. OP, please take my advice: Pursue your passion, no matter what your parents say. Everything will work out for you in the end, and you will be happy for the rest of your life. Good luck. :)

Just do the course they want you too then afterwards do whatever you want to do.

I believe the parents probably want him to pursUe the right course, not PURSE it!

Yah Just cuz they would do that,, it means that they probably don't want to look bad so do whatever you want to please yourself not your parents

If they want happiness for him, they wouldent choosing his career

HowAreYouToday 34

Sigh. Humans don't really understand this: your parents might be the biggest douches on the planet, but because they are still your parents, you'd still want their approval. GET OVER IT! OP JUST DOESN'T WANT TO END UP THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY!!!!

**** that shit! Better listen to them before you end up homeless!

Do what they say so your in line for the money once they die!

MamaChey 24

The parents may be paying for university

If you move away from them, your house, your rules. ;)

Shut up! Do you want OP to end up like his fry cook brother?!

oops_im_fucked 8

Obviously that's the only logical thing to do right now is a classic fight to the death.

Let them be stupid. They'll regret it when they don't have any kids who come to see them or talk to them. They'll just come crawling back one day, and u can tell them they did it to themselves

or maybe they want their kids to hate them and move away so they can have a house to themselves...

Your sister is lucky. Drop out of the course and pursue the course of your choice. Pretty stupid and over reactive of the parents.

It's not that easy though, to switch course now you would have to go through clearing and so would probably not get a better course as most of the hood ones are already full or wait a year and have to pay the new £9000 yearly fees (if you start this year it's £3000)

let them disown you. you really don't want parents like that.

IndiRae 9

That's way easier said than done. They're OP's parents, whether they're over powering pricks or not, OP obviously cares if they speak to them or not. Otherwise this FML would have never come into being in the first place.

indirae you have a valid point but it makes me so mad when parents disrespect their children. they're people also

Well then when you get accepted into harvard see if they will never talk to you again..

Why would they want to go to Harvard when Cambridge or Oxford would be better and oooo.....4000 miles closer?

6 didn't necessarily assume Op is American, only that ops parents would be impressed if they were accepted to harvard.

6 never said op was American. People from other countries go to American schools too you know.

Assuming 6 assumed op was from America makes you look like a dumbass.

Never said people from outside the US don't go to American schools, however the chances are if OP could get into Harvard then they could get into Cambridge and personally I know which I'd rather go to!

Purely statistically speaking, Harvard is ranked higher than Cambridge hence Harvard more prestigious.

stevieb123 7

Lol that's so funny but u do what u want to do

TheLastChild 8

Then let them disown you, cause no one is worth giving up your dreams for.

kate3101 15

I think it's pretty naive of people here to say "go and do whatever makes you happy". That will work as long as what makes you happy is minimum wage. There are very few opportunities for non-graduates, especially in the UK. That degree doesn't have to be in a relevant subject to open doors that would otherwise be closed to you. I'm pretty sure that your parents just want you to have options in life. If you want to work in McDonalds, that's fine, but it should be because you want to, not because that's all you can get. Good luck.

Bloody hell, nice essay long message. Who do you think you are, Hermione Granger?

You stole the words right out of my mouth, I'm re-taking my a levels next year because there's little to no jobs or future for yourself in this country without them. it's harsh on you that your parents said they'd disown you if you didn't take the course but they are only looking out for you. Go work as a shop assistant for a year and see how depressing and demoralising it is when you realise you'll never be able to fufill your full potential.

sbsq11 0

It's pretty naive to get a degree in something you didn't want to take in the first place. OP should have control of his own life if he's old enough to go to college.

that's also a good point. at first my mom wanted me to pursue something in the medical field (good thing I was interested in it and went to a specialized program for it). but when I got older, my preferences changed to engineering--which I'll get a bachelors (at least) in---but now I want to get licensed in trucking, piercing and massage therapy so my mom is just like "Nikkie *facepalm*, do whatever you want". but she knows I don't want to be broke so she's confident that whatever career I choose will be a fairly lucrative one :)

Very true #32 but I think in some cases people, myself included need a kick up the arse to get them motivated and doing something. OP should take a year out in my opinion and see a bit more of the world then she might have a better idea of what she wants to do later on in life and take a more appropriate course next year.

SeasonedLemur (#39) - That's a good idea, but in the UK the fees are set to increase dramatically after the academic year that starts this September. So unless the OP can still officially defer a year it could cost her more than she can afford.

Damn Uni fee rises! I thought they had already gone up, perhaps not. it's utter bollocks anyway especially seeing as students in Scotland don't have to pay a penny! Our govenment continues to screw over it's younger generations.

Since when have there been few opportunities in the UK for non-graduates? There are loads. Out of the people I went to college with and still know, all of the ones that went to university are doing menial, shitty jobs and all the ones who went straight into work or apprenticeships all have great jobs.

Hmm I guess it'll differ from area to area but all my mates who took apprenticeships are having a shite time, they say it's the same shit every day with no hope for promotion until their boss is six feet under!

I agree completly #51 though northern Ireland needs to slip in somewhere between Scotland and Wales...

Elmski - it depends case to case I think, or maybe region, I don't know. I know people who've done well out of apprenticeships and I know people who've done well having gone and gotten good degrees, and I know reverse situations for both cases. I guess it depends on a combination of personal drive/motivation and opportunities in that area etc. What I do know is that there is a certain amount of uni focus at school. Like at GCSE level they encourage you to do Alevels and then at Alevel level they encourage you to go to uni. You have to go out and actively seek information about things like apprenticeships. Or maybe that was just my school...

Agree 100%. I think most ppl here who say go do what you want are younger with no kids or a mortgage to pay.

DeathMaple 3

Or we just have more opportunities and jobs available.