Poopoo peepee and Kids: Daddy's in the shit again

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 30 129

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Same thing different taste

Follow through

By Anonymous - 21/07/2022 16:00

Today, my kid was on an app that makes fart noises. After too many minutes of this, I wrestled the phone away. He then went on to make real farts. Stinky ones. Then, had the inevitable shart, along with hysterical laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 277

Loud fart

By naomi3271 - 18/11/2019 20:00

Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 671

Toot etiquette

By Mama - 22/10/2024 20:00 - Switzerland - Basel

Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 342

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 554

You deserved it 2 159

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 342

Crack wars

By Grimmy - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Brunswick

Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 143

You deserved it 10 151

By notsoproudfather - 01/02/2016 15:54 - India - Pune

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 019

You deserved it 2 315

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 914

You deserved it 9 075

Toot toot!

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, trying to make my 6 year-old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "Toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say, "Daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 089

You deserved it 50 270

Good boy

By anonymous - 16/03/2011 02:05

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 181

You deserved it 6 158

Meettitan 14

Friday 15 June 2012 19:30

I'm not sure what's more impressive, farting on command, or sharting on command.

YessyxD 8

Friday 15 June 2012 19:28

Lol that's FUNNY! nice going dad

Comments

pantherprincess 6

Saturday 16 June 2012 3:02

That's hilarious !

2speccial4uuuu 6

Saturday 16 June 2012 3:48

Lmfao...smart kid

Unbweavable 17

Saturday 16 June 2012 8:08

Ahhhh fun for the entire family

nvo 6

Saturday 16 June 2012 8:26

How can you fart on command??

amykins164 3

Saturday 16 June 2012 17:41

So he is your son but then he tried it on his mother? Whose son I he?

Migole 36

Saturday 16 June 2012 22:38

Well, I guess it was the father who wrote this =P

CastielJ 6

Saturday 16 June 2012 20:24

FML of Year award goes to......Dad who taught son how to poop his pants.

Ventoso 0

Sunday 17 June 2012 1:24

Lol who had to clean it up? XD

RealBlackMan3 3

Sunday 17 June 2012 6:45

Lmao that is hilarious

socialsoccer 0

Monday 18 June 2012 6:23

Um.. Whose son?

noisebox 1

Monday 18 June 2012 7:19

As long as you didn't have to change him

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The Top

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You deserved it 350

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

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The Top

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

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Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

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You deserved it 37 290

Today, I tried making a dramatic exit during an argument, but my jacket got stuck on the door handle. My epic moment was ruined as I wrestled to free myself while my opponent just stood there, laughing. FML

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You deserved it 412

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You deserved it 829

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML

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You deserved it 4 031

Today, I asked my parents if I could borrow one of their three cars for the second time this year. They said no, suggesting that maybe I should consider buying my own car. This would be fair, if it wasn't for my sister borrowing their cars several times a week, without any disapproval. FML

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You deserved it 122