Intimacy: Dating is hell

Dating is hell

By CEO - 10/05/2014 02:37 - United States - Bristow

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 670

You deserved it 6 499

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after a year and half of being single, I was asked out on a date. I was asked by a married man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 921

You deserved it 206

The hell that is dating

By Laura - 15/07/2023 15:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He told me his wife had filed for divorce this morning (I had no idea he had ever been married) and then he sent me the e-receipt for my nachos along with his Venmo handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 142

Meanwhile, in 1953…

By nope! - 04/03/2020 12:00

Today, I had my first date in more than two years. As soon as I sat down, the first words out of his mouth were, "How many people have you had sex with? Not just recently, but ever. I don’t date women who’ve had more than 5 partners." I left before we'd even ordered drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 196

You deserved it 307

By Username - 16/04/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 933

You deserved it 4 699

By Anonymous - 26/01/2013 17:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 368

You deserved it 47 334

By hannaholic - 03/07/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came, "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 533

You deserved it 4 915

By Anonymous - 10/01/2018 01:30

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 526

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 170

You deserved it 3 328

By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 15:05 - United States

Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 832

You deserved it 4 375

By confused - 09/04/2011 08:08 - United States

Today, I went on a date for the first time in eight months. He didn't make a move. I then asked if we were on a date. He said, "I don't know, I guess." I can't tell either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 780

You deserved it 5 656

reeses1981 10

Saturday 10 May 2014 12:05

Next!

91hayek 31

Saturday 10 May 2014 12:16

I think you've been out of the game long enough that your douche radar is a bit off. Just re-calibrate and pick better guys, not that bottom of the barrel ass clown.

Comments

thew_fml 14

Saturday 10 May 2014 15:07

so - what is it?

skittyskatbrat 19

Saturday 10 May 2014 15:38

Oh, wow, I would have SO much fun with that. Especially if he was trapped in a car with me.... Time to have an in-depth whiny drawn-out complaint about Menstrual Cycles, how badly pads fit, leaking, knock-offs, cramps, "did you know that (brand name) takes out blood really well?" and anything else you can say about it that makes him squirm. He's going to talk about something utterly inappropriate? Join the game! :D And if he says anything? "Well, you wanted to talk about sex positions at the start of a first date, so I figured that you had no problem with whatever I'd say, either." Should he make it through that intact or semi-intact, start talking about mucous production, booger coloration, make up a hobby of collecting toenails, you name it. Give him a lesson he'll never forget and a memory that makes you laugh every damn time you think of it.

gracehi 31

Saturday 10 May 2014 16:39

It's amazing how many men I've met who have no qualms with talking about women and sex openly and graphically, until menstruation comes up. Then all of a sudden they're all bashful. A true mark of immaturity.

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 10 May 2014 17:03

I don't think you want to be trapped anywhere with a jerk. A public place is fine to mentally jerk him around, but otherwise just drop him and leave. Some jerks become worse than that if they think they're in a position to trap you.

MisterEx 28

Saturday 10 May 2014 15:53

Was he behaving strangely, breathing deeply, then eventually sighted happily while his hand under the table?

vikky538 28

Saturday 10 May 2014 16:01

sorry OP... that's not a good start for neither a date nor for a conversation...

sexyboi1985 27

Saturday 10 May 2014 16:04

He should have taken it slow !! Sorry OP, better luck with the next one !!

Omniprism 14

Saturday 10 May 2014 16:23

What a jerk. Don't let it deter you. There's nice guys out there. Better luck next time.

ELoni_fml 25

Saturday 10 May 2014 16:28

Welcome back!

ladybugz23 13

Saturday 10 May 2014 17:10

say See ya later bye

Jst4kicks 16

Saturday 10 May 2014 17:30

Welcome to the dating world lol. you'll meet weirdos but sooner or later a nice bro will appear

Frungy 9

Saturday 10 May 2014 18:16

Look at it this way, at least he saved you time. Imagine how much worse it would have been if he'd wasted an entire evening before revealing his true colours.