Intimacy: Dating is hell

Dating is hell

By CEO - 10/05/2014 02:37 - United States - Bristow

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 670

You deserved it 6 499

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after a year and half of being single, I was asked out on a date. I was asked by a married man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 921

You deserved it 206

The hell that is dating

By Laura - 15/07/2023 15:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He told me his wife had filed for divorce this morning (I had no idea he had ever been married) and then he sent me the e-receipt for my nachos along with his Venmo handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 142

Meanwhile, in 1953…

By nope! - 04/03/2020 12:00

Today, I had my first date in more than two years. As soon as I sat down, the first words out of his mouth were, "How many people have you had sex with? Not just recently, but ever. I don’t date women who’ve had more than 5 partners." I left before we'd even ordered drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 195

You deserved it 306

By Username - 16/04/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 933

You deserved it 4 699

By Anonymous - 26/01/2013 17:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 367

You deserved it 47 334

By hannaholic - 03/07/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came, "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 533

You deserved it 4 915

By Anonymous - 10/01/2018 01:30

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 078

You deserved it 526

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 170

You deserved it 3 328

By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 15:05 - United States

Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 832

You deserved it 4 375

By confused - 09/04/2011 08:08 - United States

Today, I went on a date for the first time in eight months. He didn't make a move. I then asked if we were on a date. He said, "I don't know, I guess." I can't tell either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 780

You deserved it 5 656

reeses1981 10

Saturday 10 May 2014 12:05

Next!

91hayek 31

Saturday 10 May 2014 12:16

I think you've been out of the game long enough that your douche radar is a bit off. Just re-calibrate and pick better guys, not that bottom of the barrel ass clown.

Comments

BvbArmy_0 18

Sunday 11 May 2014 22:22

Well, did you tell him?

mattrd_fml 31

Monday 12 May 2014 0:53

I'm guessing you didn't answer him.

enginsteve 17

Monday 12 May 2014 8:09

Welcome to the wonderful world of dating!

strykerthezombie 7

Monday 12 May 2014 15:59

Did you answer atleast?

imintoNAndos 3

Wednesday 14 May 2014 17:36

Right?! it happens to all of us divorcees it's like the new trend is either date a virgin so you can be the first or date a divorcee cause they must be awesome in bed.