Miscellaneous: Depressing - FML

Depressing

By bymyself - 07/02/2011 02:05

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 661

You deserved it 3 839

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

I'm so tired

By Raven - 18/10/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 117

Everyone loves a weepie

By CheeseAndCrackers - 30/04/2020 08:00

Today, my always over-emotional husband burst into sobs when I thanked him for making me lunch. Apparently, I did not compliment his cooking enough. He microwaved me a Hot Pocket; it was still frozen in the middle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 916

You deserved it 275

By badcook - 24/09/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 741

You deserved it 3 521

By Kamburgler - 02/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 388

You deserved it 5 724

By jenni6488 - 22/02/2012 07:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 507

You deserved it 23 298

By Idktbh - 18/11/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, when I finished helping a customer, she said, “Thanks cutie!” When I thanked her she giggled and said, “I just like making people smile, plus I bet you don’t get called that often!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 221

You deserved it 328

By JohhnyKeroscene - 01/02/2012 12:21 - United States

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 233

You deserved it 2 824

By Ser17 - 10/08/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 931

You deserved it 5 898

Take the L

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 00:00

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As I was leaving, the receptionist told me to "have a nice day" and I replied, "You too, love you!" then I went back home and roasted in the embarrassment for an hour or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 218

By Lola - 20/12/2008 12:23 - France

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 559

You deserved it 8 391

Next

Top comments

Doortje 29

Monday 7 February 2011 8:51

My microwave doesn't even say that :( Be happy you have a little buddy OP.

banana_buddy 6

Monday 7 February 2011 8:50

smart microwave =)

Comments

atomicJ 0

Monday 7 February 2011 9:13

haha ok making sure.

uberletepoon 10

Monday 7 February 2011 9:14

my microwave broke today so dont even complain

deerescu 1

Monday 7 February 2011 9:22

NICE microwave!

snuff13 0

Monday 7 February 2011 9:44

omg your lifes over because you had a bad day that's hardly worth a FML

iluvfmls456 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 1:21

Uh that's kinda the point of an fml...

thelastavailable 13

Monday 7 February 2011 9:52

Quit your self-centred whining, OP.

xdanixx 0

Monday 7 February 2011 10:25

That's a pretty awesome microwave! Jeal.

perdix 29

Monday 7 February 2011 10:28

That must have been an older model that is programmed to say "Enjoy your meal" regardless of who used it. Modern microwaves have Douchebag Detection Technology and would have told you, "Get Your ******* Food Out of Me, Asshole!"

Moo_Horse 0

Monday 7 February 2011 22:14

lol

BluePanda114 0

Monday 7 February 2011 10:36

Whoa, i want one. :P

Bekll 31

Monday 7 February 2011 12:01

So what OP? Do you need someone to say something nice to you every single day? Suck it up.

fudgeeocookies 10

Monday 7 February 2011 12:13

That's cool. All my microwave does is count down.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 277

Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 160

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 848

You deserved it 31 398

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. I used to be her college professor and I’d given up my career of 22 years, my wife and kids, and my house in Boca Raton just for her. Nice to know this is the thanks I get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 3 178

Today, I was in the dressing room of my favorite store. While looking in the mirror at a shirt I really like, the fire alarm went off. In a panic, I ran out of the store like everyone else. The sensor went off on my shirt and I was banned from the store for attempted theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 648

You deserved it 4 830

Today, the guy who owes me $300 put a meme on Facebook that said, “In 2023, I’m gonna move on from the past, so if I owe you money, sorry but I’ve moved on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 535

Today, at my job as a 2nd grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 200

You deserved it 851

Today, my mother-in-law invited all my wife’s friends and family, and my family, to her baby shower, well over a 50-60 people. Two people came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 126