Kids: Devious

Devious

By rachel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 008

You deserved it 3 906

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Same thing different taste

Rage Quit

By Redsnation - 08/08/2017 05:02

Today, my older brother said that if he beat me in a game of NBA 2k17, he would get to keep my PS4. I beat him so badly that he got angry and destroyed my PlayStation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 787

You deserved it 526

Yada yada yade

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 040

You deserved it 33 819

Judgemental

By ugly - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 411

You deserved it 4 537

Cornered

By blarg - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom, so I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then started yelling at me on Facebook, so I logged out of Facebook. She then started yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 214

You deserved it 27 875

Thanks for the info

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 848

You deserved it 634

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

Family tradition

By Anonymous - 28/07/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I woke up to find both my sisters standing over me. One of them punched me in the balls, then dragged me out of bed by my feet. The other poured a jug of ice cold water over me, while the other kicked me in the balls again, from behind this time. They yelled, "Happy birthday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 127

Unwarranted

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 735

You deserved it 16 143

Brothers in arms

By MitchRapp - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my brother asked me what I want for my birthday, so I said that we could just hang out. He told me I should ask for something more realistic, like a gift card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 550

You deserved it 1 752

Catfishing 101

By jquaw - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Brockville

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 218

You deserved it 6 305

CaptMurdock 25

Sunday 11 August 2013 2:26

What a brat. Maybe you should show him what a real punch feels like.

da_dork 9

Sunday 11 August 2013 2:26

Wow, I hate when parents never believe you when it involves a younger sibling in tears.

Comments

jellyguy 12

Sunday 11 August 2013 8:02

That's little brothers for you. They will do anything to get him in trouble.

speckledots 29

Sunday 11 August 2013 8:08

"You're older, you know better."

SwtCherryPie 26

Sunday 11 August 2013 8:28

That's when I started hitting them so the wouldn't be lying. I hated that shit.

YankeeBabii 14

Sunday 11 August 2013 8:33

I swear to god, that sounds like something my little brother would do. In fact, if I'm not mistaken he did that last week.

Rexington27 7

Sunday 11 August 2013 8:36

I believe we know the favorite now.

swordidfate 13

Sunday 11 August 2013 8:41

Well punching somebody would also do some damage to your fist, you could just show your parents that your hand is completely unscathed

tommylover842 23

Sunday 11 August 2013 9:36

Wow apparently I had a very normal, very boring childhood! Shit like this never happened and I have 14 siblings!

austinj776 3

Sunday 11 August 2013 10:12

smart kid

Brandon_NW 9

Sunday 11 August 2013 11:32

Since they already believe him, make that story true by punshing him.

babyblueyes 27

Sunday 11 August 2013 11:40

I'd give him something to really cry about...little douchebag

Keywords

Relatable Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games

The Top

Today, the woman I love, who rejected me countless times, got a boyfriend. Bitter about it, I post on my Instagram Story: “I could have been your love bug, but apparently you’re into roaches.” She posted a story of them kissing, saying, “I love my roach so much!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 1 265

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

The Top

Today, I sliced my finger on the register drawer. Not wanting to freak out my customer, I stuck my hand in my pocket and finished giving them change. Now I look like I period-bled through the front of my pants. Only 10 hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 792

You deserved it 855

Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 31 655

Today, my idiot boss, who says he used to be an EMT, thinks that all safety precautions in the company COVID-19 response memo and everything we’ve heard from the WHO and CDC is bull and removed the gloves from everyone’s truck. We’re a plumbing and drain company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 205

You deserved it 117

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 206

You deserved it 20 251

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 004

You deserved it 5 803

Today, I had a job interview but couldn't find my car keys. I had searched the entire apartment and had missed the interview. Turns out they were in my pocket the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 701

You deserved it 54 666

Same thing different taste

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