Intimacy: Dirty dancing - FML

Dirty dancing

By Dumbfuck - 25/09/2009 04:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that being rhythmically challenged really really sucks. I was trying to dance around sexily for my girlfriend, and I was doing that one move where you thrust your pelvis forward, and swing you hand from side to side. I hit myself in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 758

You deserved it 26 665

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Same thing different taste

Deez nutz hurtz

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 15:01

Spicy

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 083

You deserved it 523

Change it!

By man down! man down... - 01/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 156

You deserved it 384

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 803

You deserved it 97 689

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 22:29 - Mexico - Mexico

Spicy

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 020

You deserved it 9 308

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 734

You deserved it 9 193

By Anonymous - 05/12/2018 21:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today me and my boyfriend were in an adventurous sexual position and as I started to orgasm he slipped, landed awkwardly and dislocated both my hips, while I was in the middle of an orgasm. Somehow the pleasure of the orgasm made the pain worse. I don't think I'll ever want sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 720

You deserved it 439

By solomantis - 30/07/2009 05:46 - Norway

Spicy

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 929

You deserved it 50 381

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 05:13 - United States

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 834

You deserved it 5 813

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 5 496

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Spicy

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 399

You deserved it 3 178

Next

Top comments

lrb081 0

Friday 25 September 2009 14:46

a bit of advice: there is NOTHING sexy about that dance move. period.

Glam_fml 0

Friday 25 September 2009 15:15

Men dancing is rarely ever sexy.

Comments

blackmauser95 3

Thursday 6 December 2012 5:28

Did anyone else imagine this dance move in their head?

Silly_Lilly6969 23

Wednesday 15 May 2013 15:37

Yeah because pelvis thrusting turn girls on.

MissHeartSihk 26

Saturday 23 August 2014 21:03

All I could picture after reading this is some random asshole dancing around like a gorilla. ydi.

mthomasmillerr 3

Thursday 9 July 2015 19:56

Rhythmically challenged? I think you mean clumsy and uncoordinated

Keywords

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Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

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You deserved it 7 856

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The Top

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

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You deserved it 4 936

Today, I realised that despite having a full-time job I must really be failing at this adulting business, because I called my dad and the first words out of his mouth were, "I’m not sending you any more money." I do borrow money a lot, and yes I was about to ask for more. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

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You deserved it 1 032

Today, I ruined a 4-year long friendship over something stupid, and I'm now being ghosted. I tried to fix it several times, but she doesn't care anymore I don't think. Imagine being the antagonist in your own story. FML

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Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML

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You deserved it 6 607

Please don't make me get up.

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Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

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You deserved it 5 002