Intimacy: Dirty dancing

Dirty dancing

By Dumbfuck - 25/09/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, I found out that being rhythmically challenged really really sucks. I was trying to dance around sexily for my girlfriend, and I was doing that one move where you thrust your pelvis forward, and swing you hand from side to side. I hit myself in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 758

You deserved it 26 665

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Same thing different taste

Deez nutz hurtz

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 15:01

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 083

You deserved it 523

Change it!

By man down! man down... - 01/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 156

You deserved it 384

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 803

You deserved it 97 689

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 22:29 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 020

You deserved it 9 308

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 734

You deserved it 9 193

By Anonymous - 05/12/2018 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today me and my boyfriend were in an adventurous sexual position and as I started to orgasm he slipped, landed awkwardly and dislocated both my hips, while I was in the middle of an orgasm. Somehow the pleasure of the orgasm made the pain worse. I don't think I'll ever want sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 720

You deserved it 439

By solomantis - 30/07/2009 05:46 - Norway

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 929

You deserved it 50 381

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 05:13 - United States

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 834

You deserved it 5 813

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 5 496

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 399

You deserved it 3 178

lrb081 0

Friday 25 September 2009 14:46

a bit of advice: there is NOTHING sexy about that dance move. period.

Glam_fml 0

Friday 25 September 2009 15:15

Men dancing is rarely ever sexy.

Comments

muffinz85 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 0:36

rofl thats really funny! :)

zaadam2 5

Tuesday 29 September 2009 18:16

Unless you are a male stripper, I don't think any guy could dance "sexily" for their girlfriend. Keep to the basics man, dancing isn't one of them...

1_9_1_7_1_0_2_4 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 6:27

its all in the hips man. go to a club once in a while you may learn how to dance. just sayin.

zombiebubbles 0

Friday 2 October 2009 1:18

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. that is freaking hilarious. (*: i just shed a tear. but im sorrry.

oystercultviking 0

Friday 2 October 2009 7:46

ROFL :} I think I just peed. That was amazing. I hope my future boyfriend does something like that so that I may laugh at his misfortune :P

OneFuckedGuy 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 22:29

FYL on the ball pain bro

ConnorMichelle 0

Sunday 4 October 2009 4:13

oh your from texas, that explains it!

_adrenaline 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 4:11

Were you trying to be Napoleon Dynamite?

FreakyFaceFilms 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 8:49

No just no: Hold up - Why the f*ck were you doing some gay ass dance in the first place? I mean the way this was written makes you sound like a retard...Ha at ur Failness, YDI for being one strange son of a b*tch...