Don't Touch My Fries By FML Approved - 22/10/2017 04:00 These aren't beetles... This is Sparta! I agree, your life sucks 471 You deserved it 122 Share Tweet Share
Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 68 499 You deserved it 5 679
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML I agree, your life sucks 37 574 You deserved it 6 914
Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 793 You deserved it 2 308
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 129 You deserved it 17 969
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 832 You deserved it 6 345
Today, I found out my partner was cheating on me. We’ve been together for over 5 years. I tried to break it off with him but he won’t let me. I feel stuck and numb. I went to bed early, only to be woken up by him (on purpose) a couple of hours later and now can’t sleep because of a headache. FML I agree, your life sucks 483 You deserved it 169
Today, my downstairs neighbor died. I knew because the smell wafted up to my apartment. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 077 You deserved it 2 649
Today, my two cats, who I'm slowly easing into being together, seem to like the fight they had yesterday. My older cat goes to my new cat's room to mew until I open the door, then lunges at my new cat, and my new cat goes to the barrier until he sees my old cat, and they start their shenanigans again. FML I agree, your life sucks 748 You deserved it 211