Miscellaneous: Dressed for success

Dressed for success

By wtf - 03/02/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 767

You deserved it 15 583

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Same thing different taste

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 612

You deserved it 4 963

Wiped out

By STIgary - 17/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 302

Raincheck?

By jib - 09/04/2022 07:00 - United States - Kilgore

Today, I was suffering from some gastric distress. While on my way to a job interview, I slipped on some concrete that was wet due to a recent slight rain shower. I didn't fall. I DID shit my pants though. I walked back home slowly in shame to clean up the mess. I didn't make it to the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 132

Stars of CCTV

By Guess I'm jobless - 10/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 224

By tori210 - 15/08/2017 16:00

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 471

You deserved it 710

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 667

You deserved it 992

By Anonymous - 25/08/2018 18:30

Today, while waiting for my interview to start, I tried to slip out a silent fart. It ended with shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 611

You deserved it 1 358

Nerves

By ADH2000 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5 year-old for a few seconds. The guy who had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 018

You deserved it 47 503

Bustin' my ass

By Anonymous - 07/10/2020 20:01

Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 192

Slipping up

By Anonymous - 06/04/2024 05:00 - United States - Richardson

Today, while I was at work, I didn't have any panty liners so I used tissue. I was taking orders when I suddenly felt the tissue trailing down my leg. I tried not to move, but it inevitably fell through my pants onto the floor in front of my co-workers. I swiftly put it into my pocket. Luckily, it had nothing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 145

wholelottaROSIE_fml 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 21:00

if youve got a sweaty buttcrack, dont wear a white skirt. its really not that hard.

Guiseppi 0

Friday 6 March 2009 9:40

Probably fell out, hon.

Comments

twilighter_644 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 19:42

if ur fat, u shouldnt wear a white skirt just a tip freak

infernno 23

Monday 16 April 2012 6:01

How does being fat have to do with anything?

Luv_bug45 0

Saturday 17 November 2012 6:48

That was rude, unnecessary, and just a really dumb thing to say. First of all, who said anything about being fat? And second of all, even if OP is fat, why does that make her a freak? Do you have something against people that struggle with there weight? Why can't heavier people wear skirts!? Try not to be such a shallow bitch.

sammisweets93 12

Friday 23 November 2012 5:53

If you don't sparkle then you aren't good enough for her or come from a magical tribe of werewolves.

shankzilla 0

Monday 4 May 2009 9:52

you're ******* disgusting

madasahatter 0

Friday 29 May 2009 4:34

That's disgusting. I agree with everyone else. You would have felt it if it went up, and you would have found it soon enough. And if your buttcrack sweats so much, why not try wearing pants instead of a whilte skirt?

smalls_smores 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:07

I think they were trying to say like well there were only two places it could have gone up and if its not there it must've fallen out. maybe its stolen, maybe not. things happen to more than one person by the way. i think you all might need to calm down a little. what, do you work for kathy griffin?

cboy1995 0

Friday 5 June 2009 8:50

Wow was there someone anal raping u cuz it shouldn't of gone up otherwise

anonymous_user 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 5:33

"today, i stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper..." EPIC FAIL

junkinmahcranium 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 8:00

#23, how do you know this person is male?

ncvolley123 8

Monday 16 August 2010 0:30

unless u live in my town!! it's regular here.

starberries 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 0:55

#23 said the person is male because a woman wouldn't make up this story, because we know that toilet paper wouldn't just randomly crawl up your cooch. It's wrong, though, since about half a dozen people already pointed out the story was ripped off from Kathy Griffin.