Miscellaneous: Dressed for success - FML

Dressed for success

By wtf - 03/02/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 767

You deserved it 15 583

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Same thing different taste

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 612

You deserved it 4 963

Wiped out

By STIgary - 17/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 302

Raincheck?

By jib - 09/04/2022 07:00 - United States - Kilgore

Today, I was suffering from some gastric distress. While on my way to a job interview, I slipped on some concrete that was wet due to a recent slight rain shower. I didn't fall. I DID shit my pants though. I walked back home slowly in shame to clean up the mess. I didn't make it to the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 132

Stars of CCTV

By Guess I'm jobless - 10/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 224

By tori210 - 15/08/2017 16:00

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 471

You deserved it 710

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 667

You deserved it 992

By Anonymous - 25/08/2018 18:30

Today, while waiting for my interview to start, I tried to slip out a silent fart. It ended with shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 611

You deserved it 1 358

Nerves

By ADH2000 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5 year-old for a few seconds. The guy who had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 018

You deserved it 47 503

Bustin' my ass

By Anonymous - 07/10/2020 20:01

Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 192

Slipping up

By Anonymous - 06/04/2024 05:00 - United States - Richardson

Today, while I was at work, I didn't have any panty liners so I used tissue. I was taking orders when I suddenly felt the tissue trailing down my leg. I tried not to move, but it inevitably fell through my pants onto the floor in front of my co-workers. I swiftly put it into my pocket. Luckily, it had nothing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 145

Next

Top comments

wholelottaROSIE_fml 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 21:00

if youve got a sweaty buttcrack, dont wear a white skirt. its really not that hard.

Guiseppi 0

Friday 6 March 2009 9:40

Probably fell out, hon.

Comments

GracieLulu13 1

Tuesday 7 June 2011 22:16

Uhhhh... ewwhh.

bigscarybunny95 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 20:43

or it could have fallen out, dumb ass.

epicman1999 0

Friday 8 July 2011 22:22

ur nice

fanceh 10

Sunday 10 July 2011 8:11

he's right*

PhillyEagles 0

Friday 29 July 2011 4:40

maybe her job doesn't require underwear if you what I mean...

deviable 9

Thursday 11 August 2011 5:37

Or it fell out?

supahcoolperson 0

Monday 31 October 2011 4:59

omg #17 yes! haha I wasn't the only one thinkin that from Rob and Big! lol

kaycee1996 5

Monday 26 December 2011 16:50

What if this actually happened? You seem like such an *rse right now

kaycee1996 5

Monday 26 December 2011 16:53

Why would you stuff toilet paper in you pants? Ever heard of a pad or a wetness liner?

madsaboutyou 6

Thursday 26 April 2012 19:05

Swamp butt.

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The Top

Today, I’m an adult and my mother lives with me, not me with her. She found out I was going to be gone for 9 days on vacation and that she couldn’t come, so she had a “mental break down” and checked herself into a psych ward. Last year, she did the same thing when I graduated college and celebrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 103

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 296

You deserved it 2 147

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 34 304

You deserved it 6 564

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I agree, your life sucks 53 691

You deserved it 3 165

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I agree, your life sucks 57 138

You deserved it 3 643

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I agree, your life sucks 1 883

You deserved it 174

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I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 283

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I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 209