Friends, Boredom and Narcissist: Dude, shut up

Dude, shut up

By BiteMe - 28/08/2022 12:00 - United States - Manchester

Today, I accidently accepted a lunch invitation from an old friend, because I forgot what they're like. Here comes another hour and a half monologue about how great they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 298

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/06/2016 06:11

Today, my best friend invited my ex to eat lunch with her. I wouldn't have found out had I not bumped into them while they were there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 068

You deserved it 1 340

My life story

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 02:00

Today, I invited a friend that I hadn't seen a few years to a baseball game because I knew they're big baseball fans. They ended up trauma dumping on me for two hours.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 181

Friends like these

By veggocake - 26/09/2009 08:05 - United States

Today, an old friend that I never really liked invited me to lunch while she was in town. While driving back to her car, I couldn't find my phone, so she offered to call it. She found it under the passenger seat and also saw that when she called, her name came up as "Sabrina-IGNORE". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 806

You deserved it 63 447

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 20:59 - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, I realized that the only times I get to hang out with my friends outside of school are when one of them accidentally mentions plans in front of me and they are obligated by social protocol to invite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 697

You deserved it 3 241

By Username - 23/01/2011 18:44 - United States

Today, my best friend came over for dinner and a movie. Moments after arriving, she spent an hour on the phone, and ended up accepting another invitation before leaving. I guess it's dinner for one tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 259

You deserved it 2 614

Unforgettable

By bex - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with two old friends from high school. While at the restaurant, we saw a girl who we graduated with. The girl gave both of them hugs, then introduced herself to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 024

You deserved it 2 302

The walls have ears

By Anonymous - 20/04/2020 17:00

Today, I went out for lunch with one of my co-workers. After work, I talked to one of my friends about how unpleasant the lunch was with him. My co-worker was standing behind me listening in the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 2 792

Uncomfortable encounter

By Klo - 12/11/2023 16:00

Today, I was set to meet my friends at a new, trendy café. I arrived early, eager to impress, but ended up walking into the wrong café and got stuck for an hour engaged in a disturbing conversation about serial killers with a total stranger who'd deludedly mistaken me for a long-lost friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 289

Hostus mostus

By trappedinmyownhome - 15/07/2015 02:11

Today, I was having a dinner party. My guests were getting along really well. I mean, really well; it turns out they all went to the same high school. For the next five hours, I hosted a high school reunion for a school I didn't even go to, in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 561

You deserved it 2 837

Awks

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 21:23 - United States - Plaquemine

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My best friend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 981

You deserved it 3 510

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 28 August 2022 20:36

Their treat? I'll listen to a boring speech for free food!

mike3775 35

Sunday 28 August 2022 18:35

So tell another friend to call you 10 mi utes in claiming an emergency. I’ve done it a lot of times

Comments

mike3775 35

Sunday 28 August 2022 18:35

So tell another friend to call you 10 mi utes in claiming an emergency. I’ve done it a lot of times

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 28 August 2022 20:36

Their treat? I'll listen to a boring speech for free food!

Hangryko 29

Sunday 28 August 2022 21:53

So "unaccept." Say you double booked by mistake, you'll reschedule at a later date, then never reschedule.

Jeeper 9

Monday 29 August 2022 16:36

Since you have forgotten, apparently you need the hour and a half reminder of their greatness.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 208

Today, I came home from class to find a nasty note on my roommate's toaster oven. Apparently, cleaning it once a week isn't enough, and she wants it cleaned right after using it, which she never told me all school year. I'm banned from using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 330

The Top

Today, I decided to get in the cowgirl position since it's my fiancé's favorite. I got a little carried away during the "ride" and suddenly heard his dick crack. I fractured his penis. He's never going to have sex with me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 556

You deserved it 947

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 949

You deserved it 6 834

Today, I tore up my airborne academy admission documents because my lab results weren't good enough. A few hours later, they called me to apologize for the misunderstanding, mine turned out to be perfect and they'd accepted me. They need me tomorrow with all the documents to finalize the admission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 216

You deserved it 42 822

Today, I was the ring bearer at a wedding, something I'd been nervous about being ever since the groom asked me. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped over nothing and the ring flew from the little silk pillow and rolled into a nearby pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 183

Today, I went to the hospital for severe abdominal pain and nausea. I sat in the waiting room for six hours, just to be told, “We don’t know what’s wrong with you. Try taking Gravol and Tylenol and maybe lay off the fatty foods.” I feel like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 97

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 565

Same thing different taste

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