when one keeps ones farts inside ones body, said farts will create inner explosions that act as a tear gas to the body's systems. don't Google it, just believe it.

I think it's better than snoring anyway watch what you eat before bed

This isn't even an FML. This is hilarious.

Lmao! My son does that. He hears things at night and responds to them in his sleep.

"Uhh yeah and I think they hit a pipe or something. Smells like methane don't you think?"

Funny, not an fml though Jaja . Guess they didn't smell?? Jaja

Just be glad that you had a good excuse.

So...one of your farts has been compared to a drilling noise. Yeah, maybe tone it down a notch. You know, so that it just sounds like a nice, relaxing trumpet. In the middle of the night. I believe in you, OP.

"Better out then in I always say" - shrek

Farts always seem worse when you are with someone else. Don't let it get to you.