One time my boyfriend farted so loud i thought someone broke into the bedroom and tried to shoot us

I can't believe I'm explaining some random person on the internet how to fart silently in bed. Try to lie on your side in a kind of fetus position, if that doesn't work, additionaly try to pull apart your butt cheeks a bit with your hand, nothing gross, just grab the whole buttcheek and move it. The air should escape silently then (not always though). It's important to not force the farts out since they will become louder. Anyway, I think you should be able to loudly fart in front of your significant other, exept when you want to be quiet or when it's too stinky. :D

so she married the "drilling machine"...? sounds like a great nickname for your penises...

Drill baby drill!

Oh wow, such a first world problem.

Nice save! You didn't blow it.

Holding them in is unhealthy, let 'em rip.

Hi ! OP here! Thanks for your hilarious comments, that made us laugh, my girlfriend and me (yes I'm a girl too, for those who were wondering =)) (Mention spéciale for # 2 3 4 9 10 17 22 23 27 30 35!). I'll make a more detailed comment when I'll have time =)

Hey, I fart myself awake sometimes in front of my girlfriend. It's something that is just.

You are lucky. Many men would be jealous of your ass-blasting prowess.