Animals, Dogs, Sleep and Cute: Early warning

Early warning

By Anonymous - 16/11/2024 00:00 - Ireland

Today, my dog started barking at literally nothing in the middle of the night. I spent 15 minutes convinced there was a ghost or something in my house, only to realize she was barking at her own shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 120

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Same thing different taste

He's still a very good boy

By Anonymous - 28/11/2024 12:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my dog barked at his own reflection in the mirror for five full minutes. When I tried to calm him down, he started barking at me like I was in on the conspiracy that seemed to be going on in his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 102

By spaz - 14/03/2011 01:49 - United States

Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 914

You deserved it 13 718

Alert!

By DamnDogs - 05/03/2012 10:28 - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 603

You deserved it 4 070

Alexa, play "Ghosts" by Japan

By stuckathome - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 262

You deserved it 2 805

Dazed and confused

By Anonymous - 26/11/2021 11:01 - Germany

Today, our dog is old and deaf, and has figured out she just needs to bark if she needs to be let inside. Unfortunately, she's also a bit senile, so sometimes she just barks for no reason, while lying still and quite comfortably on her dog bed, staring at nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 132

By panda - 03/03/2011 11:20

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 263

You deserved it 6 288

By heartattack - 03/02/2019 16:00

Today, after I moved into my new 1930's house, my elderly rescue dog raised her hackles and stared at the wall behind my bed for two full minutes. I thought she might have recognized something from her old job. She's a retired cadaver dog. I guess I'm never sleeping, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 588

You deserved it 309

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 592

You deserved it 4 011

Scaredy cat

By amazinghermit - 25/11/2014 04:21 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 195

You deserved it 6 579

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 085

You deserved it 8 762

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Saturday 16 November 2024 0:29

How do you know it wasn’t a ghost hanging out near her shadow?

GoogieWithers 22

Saturday 16 November 2024 14:55

How do you know that you don't have rats,mice or roaches in the walls?

Comments

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Saturday 16 November 2024 0:29

How do you know it wasn’t a ghost hanging out near her shadow?

GoogieWithers 22

Saturday 16 November 2024 14:55

How do you know that you don't have rats,mice or roaches in the walls?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 330

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 674

You deserved it 5 887

The Top

Today, we were so desperate to be parents, we've had IVF twice until our son was born. I was not ready for just how much I would hate him. I physically detest my son. I didn’t want to hold him when he was born, he makes my skin crawl when I breastfeed and I barely look at him. Messed up, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 581

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 913

You deserved it 5 631

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 218

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 833

You deserved it 6 529

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 401

You deserved it 6 432

Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 807

You deserved it 2 175

Same thing different taste

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