Intimacy: Easyjet

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Easyjet

By anonymous - 07/01/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 147

You deserved it 14 032

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Same thing different taste

By Thomas - 20/09/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 279

You deserved it 3 452

By nevergoingonabusagain - 30/05/2009 06:52 - Canada

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 279

You deserved it 5 718

Unflattered

By lindsay - 28/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 160

By Anonymous - 03/09/2009 12:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 403

You deserved it 3 785

By Claustrophobic - 04/04/2013 07:12 - United States

Today, I was on a plane in the aisle seat; the guy in the middle was encroaching on my space, and the window seat was not taken. The stewardess noticed my discomfort and suggested the guy move so we both had space. He had bought both seats and "liked sitting in the middle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 315

You deserved it 2 440

Packed in

By BackHurts - 16/07/2021 00:01 - Canada

Today, I paid $140 extra to get more comfort during a flight. The man behind me was so tall that his legs didn't let me recline the seat, and complained every time I tried to during the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 238

By Anonymous - 01/04/2012 13:53 - Australia - Perth

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 583

You deserved it 3 379

By PlaneGuy - 25/02/2017 01:00 - Reunion - Saint-denis

Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 216

You deserved it 743

The Curse

By ugly me - 24/10/2010 00:50 - United States

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 424

You deserved it 3 643

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 01:28 - Canada

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 971

You deserved it 3 987

Doortje 29

Friday 7 January 2011 23:30

YDI for not being a little suspicious at all that someone would PAY you $20 to swap seats with them.

PSQ91 6

Friday 7 January 2011 23:37

It's not like he's going to hump you. That's actually pretty fun.

Comments

perdix 29

Friday 7 January 2011 23:52

What's the problem? You could have earned another $20 by helping him relieve it. By then, you might have earned enough money to cover your bag fees.

SirEBC 7

Saturday 8 January 2011 0:48

If the flight was with Southwest, bags fly free, my brotha.

perdix 29

Saturday 8 January 2011 1:51

I fly Southwest when I can, but on my next trip, I have to go Coñtinental because SW doesn't have a direct flight there. Then, if the OP is flying SW, all that money she'll make will put her way a head!

ViolentBears 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 0:02

Is this wisdom coming from experience of yours?

jdawg89 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 0:03

should've asked him to have a sword fight

goodgood_fml 5

Saturday 8 January 2011 0:08

At least his WORKS!! I would have got his number.

mrahhhhh 21

Saturday 8 January 2011 0:21

Just kill his boner by showing him Blue Waffle. DISCLAIMER: Do. Not. Google. Blue. Waffle. I've already had a bunch of dumbass kids Google it when I made this suggestion in another FML, even though I told the little ***** to Urban Dictionary it instead. But if you do, just remember... I warned you :).

Doortje 29

Saturday 8 January 2011 0:26

I went to Urban Dictionary, but they told me to google it. I did. FML :(

mrahhhhh 21

Saturday 8 January 2011 0:35

#21: You should know not to trust the "I'm feeling lucky" button on Google. It doesn't even know how to "find Chuck Norris"! (this one's SFW, so go for it :D )

Doortje 29

Saturday 8 January 2011 0:43

Haha I know that one ^^ And I'm never trusting that button again :/ that image is going to give me some nasty nightmares tonight.

satomi_ishida 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 9:17

Lol if you didn't want anyone looking at it, why mention it? D: Must...fight urge...to look.... Though on a side note, D's comments were funny but I'm sorry for your suffering caused. Lol OP, least he didn't ask you to join the mile high club. If he does make lewd remarks or tries to stroke himself, FYL. Though I have a feeling he's embarrassed and would rather you not embarrass him. -_-