Cats and Animals: Evil but cute

Evil but cute

By WearingOff - 14/07/2009 03:03 - United States

Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 8 836

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 500

It's alive!

By notmyrealname123 - 25/08/2014 00:08 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 726

You deserved it 6 430

Nuts

By Almost neutered - 02/07/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, I was laying on the couch when my cat decided to join. Instead of jumping, he opted to climb. While he was climbing, he put his paw on my junk and got his claws stuck there. He then tried to force them out, which hurt even more. It took almost a full minute to break him free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 150

By Anonymous - 27/05/2009 22:44 - United States

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 730

You deserved it 8 165

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 683

You deserved it 3 453

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 514

You deserved it 28 635

By crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 621

You deserved it 5 848

By Anonymous - 20/01/2015 20:24 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 879

You deserved it 5 514

Heftychonk

By Backinzi - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 506

You deserved it 5 076

Rocky VIX

By Anonymous - 29/09/2019 20:06

Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 363

iSlowPwnz 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 12:11

Amazing cat! Is this a FML? I'm not sure

scorpiogirl666 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 12:23

If you can't deal with kittens being the spawn of the devil you shouldn't have gotten one. Seriously, I love cats, but my kitten wakes me up at 6 in the morning by attacking my face. Still, though, FYL. But I bet the kitty was cute, so it's okay.

Comments

TheLoneWolf87 4

Wednesday 15 July 2009 6:36

I hate cats i threw a potato chip in the to air catch it in my mouth and it lept over me and ate it. FML. It probly would be a good lolcat too

tonyspag 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 6:36

Cat climbs up a tree then I say **** it. The piece of shit will come down when it's ready, or hungry...

shanedawsonfan 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 7:46

Stupid cat LOL but I wouldn't have climbed after it I would have throw somthing at it. They have nine lives so it wouldn't matter.

misty_donna 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 8:48

LOL at #119 my cat ate a piece of vegemite on toast i left on a plate :P and sorry about your cat, OP

allymate 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 8:35

This is the funniest FML I've ever read, ha ha.

gorguz14evar 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 8:43

My kitten walks into chairs and thinks hes a bird. He copies the bird noises and tries to fly by jumping out of a tree. Haha that is a massive fail.

Aganippe 2

Friday 17 July 2009 1:19

Haha, you can write the feline version of Marley and Me.

thatbloke 0

Friday 17 July 2009 6:33

You only just realised that cats are evil? YDI for owning a cat

ayashe 2

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:38

Don't let your cat outside. The only people here that are evil are those posting about how much they hate cats.

Gina_1379 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 0:54

YDI for not starting another way... You should hav started with the treat bag, rattle it and the cat would hav jumped rite down... then you wouldnt hav gotten hurt.