Intimacy: Excuses

Excuses

By sucks - 12/03/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 295 562

You deserved it 54 148

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Same thing different taste

White lie

By Sorrymom - 11/08/2017 01:30

Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 455

You deserved it 916

Repent!

By Mauro - 22/03/2022 16:00

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 338

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 133

You deserved it 3 210

By Missy - 02/02/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 223

You deserved it 17 280

By gotta love my momma - 28/08/2014 05:08 - United States - Folsom

Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 283

You deserved it 11 307

By Yulia - 09/03/2009 10:09 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 231

You deserved it 5 221

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 109

Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…

By TheVirginJenny - 07/10/2012 00:05 - United States - Spanaway

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 295

You deserved it 7 890

ICYMI

By senelbeat - 03/07/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 321

You deserved it 8 596

By Told_You_So - 09/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 079

You deserved it 5 087

goshkoganwtf 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:14

Your mother is a bitch. No offence to you. But its just mean what she did Im sorry.

EmilyMarie 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:15

I say you should get pregnant and see how she responds. (Unless you're male I suppose.)

Comments

mikcand 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 1:50

call ur mom a bitch then run away to some place she would nvr find u then i bet shes gonna be srry for being such an asshole

dvs01 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 5:35

Waiting until marriage? What's wrong with you? Why would you make a permanent decision to be with someone if you don't even know how they are in bed? Sex is a crucial element of a relationship, why the hell would you make such a gamble? It's decisions like this that contribute to how ****** up this world is.

Zacky_V_01 4

Tuesday 1 September 2009 3:19

good luck finding a guy who could wait until marriage.... you gotta test drive your car before you buy it. But on the other hand... get drunk, have sex and get pregnant and tell your mom you're sorry. JK but your mom is a bitch, sorry... FYL

cutiepie87 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 10:04

#185 win

cowgirlsdontcry 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 7:21

My now husband and I dated for four years in high school before getting married and we waited until our wedding night to have sex. We were both virgins. It is not impossible to wait, and we did not have to. But it is well worth it!!! Good for you for making that choice :)

sunnilal 0

Tuesday 22 September 2009 4:52

that is SOOO INCREDIBLY rude! if anything, she should be proud of the fact you want to stay true and put a value on sex instead of letting others get to know your ******! ur mother is ****** up, sorry to say so, and if i were you i would ignore her. seriously, i know like a TON of moms who would appreciate your decision to stay pure. seriously.

sunnilal 0

Tuesday 22 September 2009 4:58

ok btw, i do beleive in pre-marital sex: it is possible to find some one you really care about and want to give it to before getting married. i dont really beleive in sleeping around. but once you lose it, you lose it, and it doesnt matter who and why you do it a second time.